Content: character

Summary:

A story about how deep some family secrets can be and how far brothers can go to protect each other. I am a new writer and this is just part of a much larger story, but am going to start in small peices. I need specific writing feedback since I am new.

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Summary:

Detective Star Malloy investigated one too many rapes in Los Angeles. She suffers from what she calls “Victim Syndrome� – she hears the victims’ cries in her sleep, sees their anguished faces, and feels their humiliation. Then she cracks. She executes a child rapist and at the age of 28 her police career is over. She returns to her hometown of Weyham, Massachusetts, to look into the murder of her best friend, Cara Laurens. Another friend named Ricky Chase is blamed for the crime, but he conveniently died of a drug overdose the next day. Star doesn’t believe it for a second. She is determined to find the real killer of Cara and exonerate Ricky. She seeks help from a local detective named Ed Brown. He’s not remotely interested in reopening a case that is as clear cut at this one. But he half-heartedly agrees to let Star investigate as long as she stays out of his way. Then a rapist strikes. His MO is to shove oxycondone pills into the mouths of young women and tape their mouths shut. They die of an overdose, but before they do he violates them. Star is thrust right back into the kind of vile crime that has already ruined her.

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Summary:

The grottos of New York City can be a terrifying place for any twenty-five year old, especially for a recent Ivy League drop-out, especially when you’ve been spoon-fed caviar since the cradle. In his final year at Amherst, Ethan Elliot—privileged heir to the QuikClean dynasty—flees New England, abandons a promising future at a top financial firm and moves into a loft on the outskirts of Williamsburg, Brooklyn in hopes of finding something “greener.� What he finds is anything but. Instead, he’s hurtled far from the boroughs of New York on a life-altering, cross-country, roller-coaster ride into the bowels of Middle America with Jules and Wolfgang, his just-as-lost tour guides, each of them towing their own trunk-full of emotional “drag-age.� They take off in a derelict Chevy Chevelle expecting to find Jules’ deceased biological mother, Lisa; themselves, and the world they once knew. What they don’t expect is to be taken hostage by a schizophrenic family member that none of they have ever met. However, it’s not until they come upon Lisa’s Law: an edict of good will penned by the namesake to “make a long-lasting impression on at least one other life, for the better� that the central theme begins to surface. The Law of Lilies is a character driven, coming of age story about forgiveness, survival, and our redemption as a human race. It takes the reader through Ethan’s slapdash, and often times frightening view of today’s America. But more than simply a story about a character’s fruition; at approximately 60,000 words, it’s a challenge to the reader to make the world a more beautiful place, regardless of the ugliness of one’s past. Thrid round draft. Looking for any advice: creative, technical, what have you.

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