Content: child

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What if a foul-tempered wizard, missing a testicle, with an over-fondness for strong drink were to find himself compelled to babysit a fragile shape-changing blind girl? Not only is the child small, innocent, and a gifted witch, she is hunted by some of the blackest hearts in the land. After receiving only one review after many views, I decided to rewrite this, to speed up the pace and craft a better introductory chapter. I hope it has a chance to be seen in its newer incarnation.

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any feedback welcomed

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This letter recently came into my possession. I hope you enjoy.

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Some time ago I posted a short story titled "The Bus Spotter." I am trying to extend this into a novel. This is the first two chapters, but I think it might be better as chapter 1. I'd like opinions. Also I am not sure whether to include the first section which briefly describes the relationship between the MC and his missing father. Also of course, did it hold your interest? Explanatory notes: DI: Detective Inspector similar to US Detective Lieutenant. DCI: Detective Chief inspector, similar to US Detective Captain. Sweets - candy. Black Jacks - licorice flavoured soft candy.

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I worked on the rhythm of this piece for some time. It's one of my faves, but I want the reader to tell me if I've hit the right note.

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Lot going on in today's news and the wide and widening gap of those with and those without. Since I am only a sentimental Putz ... my stand is that of a softhearted idiot who would indeed share her last meal or go without if that meal would feed two. The gap is going to get even wider if certain parties bring down the economy to destroy this Presidents chance of a second term. Think it crazy? Take a another look. Am I happy with Obama? Not on all levels but smart enough about politics to know, hands get tied... Any and all feedback on how this is written.. is it strong, did I capture what I was going for? DO I THROW ALL RICH PEOPLE IN ONE HUGE PILE ... NO NO NO My uncle was rich in his day and gave to many in need as do many. This is for those who hold being poor in contempt and due to something lacking in the 'makeup' of the being in question.

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This is an experiment. After reading 100 literary journals it seems they like life's underbelly best. Pls let me know general impression, the usual nits, but also about consistency in her voice - uneducated. I haven't used the compulsory f-word but if its needed, advise where to insert. Thanks!

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Very likely this needs a lot of work. I tend to quickly write what comes to me. To catch the emotion rather than the technical accuracy. This is more of a memoir piece. Any and all feedback is appreciated!

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SECOND of five pieces written for children. This one has my four year old granddaughter in mind. Her name is Sylvia. She was very ill last few days and ended up in hospital. She is home now and her mama got to read this to her last night before she went to sleep. While it may read better presented differently, I have to use my own style and voice lest it not be their grandmother. Make any sense? Surely could be more technically correct but that could spoil it. Maybe not!

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Sometimes we just have to write. Nothing terribly important nor worthy of much comment. This is for my grandson Hayden age six. He has such an imagination. I can see him having this conversation. Again.. pure fun for me. Nothing more

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Life love and all that stuff- online paedophilia. Revenge is mine, sayeth the girl.

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"...to love others truly, we must first love ourselves." Comments and suggestions appreciated.

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Observations from someplace unimportant

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A gothic little number to tickle your fancy. Reviews and comments appreciated.

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In Search of Mr. Wonderful, The Journey from Myth to Madness Romance / Adult To Invite Love, You Must Love Yourself First Syvanna Lee knows what she wants—an everlasting love, her own “Mr. Wonderful.� Yet in her precarious quest to find such a man, she refuses to listen to the truth of her inner voice and ends up disappointed time and again. Each “Mr. Somebody� Syvanna becomes involved with opens a new chapter in her life. Each new relationship causes her to look at herself from a different perspective. Each new lover unveils previously unexplored facets of her own personality. She is ready for love, but will she ever realize that to give love, receive love, or even demand love, she must love herself first? And if Syvanna would only take a moment to listen to her inner voice, she might learn an important truth. As the tale unfolds, an ominous secret from Syvanna’s childhood rises to the surface, a secret that may ultimately kill her. In Search of Mr. Wonderful is a tale of heartbreak, self-destruction, desperation, and, ultimately, of transformation and discovery. Ms. Bouvier has written a novel of intense beauty and introspection that will stay with you long after you’ve turned the final page. REVIEWERS PLEASE NOTE: I will be adding chapters daily until the whole manuscript has been submitted. There are a lot!!! Stay tuned!!

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The narrator of this story is a young girl about ten years old. Since I've never been a young girl I'm interested in how she comes across. Does she sound older? Younger? And any other comments are of course always welcome.

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Ulli sent me a magazine with a haunting picture on the front. This is in honor of that picture which I haven't been able to get out of my head. Hope it does it justice! Any and all feedback is welcomed but mostly what emotions were evoked.

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I thought I'd jump into this poetry thing and see how it feels. Any comments are welcome.

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Again.. a lesson in how to take a simple item and see it differently than what it is. Perhaps stirring a memory for the reader of a beloved personal item. Hopefully so for this writer. Any technical and emotional feedback always welcomed.

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A strange note sends a mother and son on a journey of discovery.

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my first cousin died recently of a drug overdose. This poem is how I dealt with the grief. I am interested in how the style is perceived as this is a comfortable writing style for me. This is the first time I have posted work on this forum and I am grateful for the reviews. I am grateful for the editing comments by kiwi & ulli as I have incorporated them into my piece. My first time listening to constructive editing advice. There maybe hope for me yet. To you other kind people, thanks for your comments. I will be sharing this poem at a family reunion today. Hopefully it will bring perspective & healing... po

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What can I say.. what excuse offer! I am a multi poster so throw me in the toaster.. But I shall rise! Perhaps strike again as only way to beat em perhaps is to join in! Ha........... Just being me! Any and all feedback is welcome but a smile is required!

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a simple tale of child abuse, a wicked stepmum, beer and a trip to belfast in the midst of the terror campaign. all true! it's not quite finished yet and i would appreciate any feedback/tips/advice.

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I asked HavePenWillScribble to toss me a topic so if you hate this blame him. If you like it, I've never heard of him.

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