Content: fantasy

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To impress a girl, an ugly young man undertakes a robbery, and inadvertently kills someone. This sets off a chain of events which changes the course of history. This is an early work of mine which has undergone significant rewrites, and I am on the verge of sending it to market. I would like some honest opinions about its readability, characterizations, idea content, and literary merit (if any).

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This story follows the footsteps of a mage named Kha as he tries to understand what happened when his group tried to explore a cave and nearly everyone he loved died. I don't believe that the story itself matters. The people who live within the world are the thing that draws the reader and makes everything real. My goal is to find a way to do that with people who don't normally read fantasy. Let me know if I've managed to achieve my goal, would you? I'm looking for holes in the plot, inconsistencies in the story, details about horses or armor that the characters would know. While I'm interested in correcting the punctuation, I'd rather have feedback on the story itself, flow and voices. Thanks in advance for any and all feedback. Feel free to rip this apart and point out any and all flaws. Take care, Amy

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What if a foul-tempered wizard, missing a testicle, with an over-fondness for strong drink were to find himself compelled to babysit a fragile shape-changing blind girl? Not only is the child small, innocent, and a gifted witch, she is hunted by some of the blackest hearts in the land. After receiving only one review after many views, I decided to rewrite this, to speed up the pace and craft a better introductory chapter. I hope it has a chance to be seen in its newer incarnation.

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This is the beginning of a new story idea, one that came out of nowhere (as usual) and that I have no clear idea of what is even going to happen. What happens when a mild tempered, shy single janitor finds a magical critter in his garden and finds himself swept up into something too wild for him to imagine. Lets find out:) Please as usual don't hold back. All types of feedback welcomed and encouraged. Thanks for taking the time to read for me.

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Professor Najal Dyme is an ecologist and a professor of university of Karim Nash, famous for ecological studies and other scientific foundings. Najal Dyme ventures into the southern mountains where giant race lives, following certain circumstances, believing that the expedition will change his life as he wants it to be. For the feedbacks, I'd like some comments about character's development and if present, some ironies and holes in the philosophy.

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What would you do if you found out that you were the main character in your own romance novel? The Devil Will Cry in a thrilling story where an aspiring writer shockingly realizes that she is, in fact, the star of her own historical romance where angels and demons dwell.. Victoria Orpha Leslie is the perfect heroin to a thrilling Historical romance with a paranormal twist. Lady Victoria is not just any lady of the ton by any means. She hides a deadly secret. A secret that would shock polite society and banish her if anyone caught wind of her abilities or talents, if you will. But she soon realizes on one fateful evening that her life will never be the same. The new Earl of Stone suddenly appears into society on a mission that will create havoc in his wake, and he will not stop for anything. What mission? A mission that has Lady Victoria’s name stamped all over it. Ironically, just like her, Lord Stone is not what he appears to be. He’s worse, if that’s even possible…. -This is an unfinished story by a New York, aspiring writer, named Skipper Davenport

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Lady Cecily was as fair as a woman comes, and thus was why the ambitious and less than charming, King of Redheath, wanted to marry her. However, Cecily was already in love, and in a longstanding relationship with the honourable and chivalrous, Duke of Sutton—the king's cousin. At the will of her father, Cecily is dragooned to marry the king, whom apparently shares an eerie and unsettling resemblance to the man she loves. After marriage, many unexpected trials besiege the new queen; events unfold which reveal all is not what it seems in the royal house. Bear witness to Cecily’s struggle within herself, as she tries to find a place in her heart for a man who maltreats her and is inclined to warmongering. Will she overcome her love for the duke of her dreams, and find solace with the king? When the inheritance of a foreign throne comes into question, and Cecily thinks the duke’s life is in danger, her mind may already be decided and swayed towards treason. Britannia Smith writes histories for her characters, which are both intriguing and thorough. Set against the backdrop of a magnificent castle, with elements of paranormal fantasy cleverly woven in, the story of Cecily will draw you in to deep immersion, and keep you guessing until the very last page. From wedding to war, follow Cecily in this timeless tale which is sure to turn classic. What I would like to know, is if this story should have sex scenes in it, or if it should be left age appropriate for young adults. Also, constructive criticism? Additionally, I must mention, this is a novel that is over 600 pages long, and this one chapter exceeds 10,000 words, which means I shall have to post it in multiple chapters.

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Young adult fantasy. This is the first of a series of books which will span Ella’s years of training. She has been selected as a trainee to the Preases who are a group of powerful beings. They each possess an orb that grants them specific powers which they use to defend the earth’s dimensions. All of her dreams and nightmares are out there in some dimension that she may one day explore. The inhabitants are humans mixed with other beings from each of earth’s dimensions. During her training, her best friend is kidnapped and she sets out to rescue her. I would like to know if the story is interesting and any creative title ideas (I am at a loss for a good one). I would appreciate feedback any other comments that come to mind. I look forward to all constructive criticism! Thank you to everyone who took time to read this.

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Here is a story about some really happy people. Enjoy!

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This is a sequel to On a Wing and a Dare. High Meadow has been established for four years, and the herd of flying horses is thriving. High Meadow boasts two barns now, and has managed to hold an Aerial Games every year. Owain, groom to Emma's horse, Adain, is beset by nightmares from his past. He will have to deal with them before he can move forward to his own future.

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A woman is living happily with her husband but memories of her guardian angel that she fell in love with comes back to haunt her. She tells her husband this, he leaves in grief, then her guardian angel returns to help her get him back. Do you think the story pace is too fast? How would you describe the characters Aris, Sylvia, and Damien? Do you like/ dislike them? Why? Do you feel this is romantic? Why or why not? Thanks!

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Short story about a mans death and how he reacts to his impending demise.

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Martin Faulkner is a moral deviant of the spiritual realm yet an extremely successful businessman in the “Psychic Arts.” He is a vile man, yet the best (or worst depending on your point of view) of his kind. Since his childhood, he was gifted with extraordinary psychic abilities but his one true weakness is preying on the recently deceased souls of the young and desperate. His favorites are those of young Native Americans that perish from disease in the San Marcos Pueblo across the river from him. Johnathon Bergstrom is a freelance journalist hired to document the life and impending demise of Faulkner but instead finds himself psychically trapped in Faulkner’s mansion, in Santa Fe, where he must fight for his life to escape. In doing so, he finds himself in the loving protection of the spiritually powerful San Marcos Pueblo people of whom Faulkner intends to buy lucrative, expiring water rights from. If Faulkner succeeds, the humble Pueblo and its rich culture and history will surely perish. Bergstrom finds unexpected love in the Pueblo and attempts to hide and save her from the ever-growing psychic power of Faulkner while, at the same time, rediscovering and developing his self-hidden psychic gift. As the date for buying the water rights quickly approaches, Bergstrom and the Pueblo leaders must rely on the Hunter’s Moon to launch their spiritual attack against him. A time when Faulkner is his weakest and they are their strongest. However, the ultimate sacrifice must be made to ensure their success and save their people. Any feedback is welcomed.

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In a world still reeling from over a decade of war, one man’s journey to find immortality through a religion whose gods have fallen into myth may be the only way to save his world from itself and the darkness that grows from the shadows. All feedback welcome. First impressions and critical feedback needed.

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Tormalia

If you decide to review, please start from Chapter 1.

At one time, Nerris Palada had been part of the Thrillseekers, an adventuring group legendary throughout the continent of Tormalia. After many years of winning the hearts of the people and being immortalized in song and story, they went their separate ways. Now a mercenary, Nerris has become deeply involved in the civil war gripping the country of Yagolhan, and is in a very dark place within his own soul.

But when evil forces emerge, Nerris is driven out of his army and left to fend for himself. When a chance encounter reunites Nerris with his friends in their home village, the Thrillseekers set off for one last grand adventure. Joined by the mysterious fledgling sorceress Len-Ahl, the fellowship soon finds itself on a mission much bigger than their own desires. What they seek could free the world from a dark threat that has gripped it since antiquity.

When the dust has settled between gods and godlings, kings and commoners, and magic and mystery, Nerris may sink back into darkness or come to relearn the joy, happiness and love he had forgotten.

Faernan Royal Family Tree

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The legendary Violet Dagger, a mystical weapon of fearsome strength, has been uncovered. The only source to prevent its power from falling prey to the wielders of dark magic is the Mastery of Myth: a secret organization specializing in matters of the supernatural. Its Supervisor, Derrick Lord is determined to keep the Dagger out of harm's reach. But strange happenings within the organization and the discovery of an amnesic girl, who is unknowingly tied to the Dagger, will only jepordize his chances. If he fails, human civilization could come to an untimely and brutal end. I look forward to all constructive criticism!

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This is a modern fantasy novel about a wizard named Ryn. He is a federal agent investigating a series of terrorist attacks targeted at humans. He soon finds out that these are no common warlocks, but something entirely. Any and all feedback is appreciated but please do not tell me all of my grammatical errors. I don't proof read what I have written while im still working on it. And please let me know what you think. I join this site to make sure I was headed in the right direction and that the story was something that interested people.

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A character that may be in all of us or none of us finally comes to terms. Feedback most welcome. .

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So close to eighteen Ariana Log can't wait to reap the benefits of being an adult, getting away from her alcholic mother is the number one plan but she gets the ball rolling sooner than she expected to. With new ground under her feet and a world of unknown in front of her she begins her journey with a bang of surprises and a bite of adventure.

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Kyra Dernea is the outsider of the tiny town Meidad since her parents found her in an offerings basket to the Gods. She has lived in constant distress that her unique gift for conjuring electricity will upset the suspicious town to an uproar, and now her worst fears have come to pass. I'm looking for grammatical errors and also concept issues--I want to know if something is confusing, even if you can't explain why. Thanks!

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Do you believe in fairy tales? Ana McShay hasn't since she was a child. That is until she finds herself trapped in a realm of fairy tale reality and must find a way back home to Ireland and her sick child.

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This is different for me, but I've always wanted to write something like this. Skylar Crandon is like any rebellious teenage boy, enjoying his youth. Then on his seventeenth birthday, everything in his world changes. His body has transformed, the world around him appears different, and no one is there to answer any questions. Until Eva. She knows what he is, and she offers answers if only he follows her to a secret underground group filled with others who are just like him. A vastly new world is presented to him, along with the knowledge that he could never go back to his normal life again. But he does have a choice. He can stay with people like him, and become what he was always meant to be, or he can live on the run in the world he doesn’t want to give up. He knows he’s never going to stay in a world he was so forcefully pushed into, but the more time he spends learning about them, and spending time with Eva, the more he realizes that his decision is going to impact more than just his life. I changed the rating to R because of graphic violence and the language that Skylar and Aaron use.

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This is a book about titles, Shakespeare, the role of masculinity in the post-feminist world and sexual fantasy. It concers e c love, a would-be novelist, who begins a literary apprenticeship of short-stroy writing, comminplace-book-keeping and diary entry as a self-conscious literary apprenticeship intended to exercise and develop his powers as a writer to fit him to tackle the title he has siscovered in Shakespeare which he believes will propel him to literary greatness. He is an unreliable and self-obsessed narrator whose obsessions cause him to write about aspects of the same topic (hard treatment at the hands of women) from a number of different perspective. The novel is comic in tone and intent. It is finished and has attracted some interest. I am particularly interested in feedback from women readers as it was suggested by a publishing company which did consider publishing the work that it might not appeal to female readers. This was slightly contrary to my intention which was to comically reveal aspects of male psychology to a female audience. I'd be interested to know how successfully this intention was transacted. I'd also of course be interested in hearing any feedback relating to the 'readability' of a text which is by design fragmentary and stylistically varied.

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Kyrie Riddel and Cartophyllus Le Nécromant working as investigators for Prime Minister Spencer Cavendish, Duke of Devonshire and Coregent of the Kingdom of Ghaescagony discover Kyrie's former business partner, a smuggler named Edsal Halleck, murdered after she threatened to kill him because of his failure to pay a debt. But Edsal Halleck was murdered by magic that melted his eyes into red tears, burned out his pineal gland. When Cartophyllus attempts to speak to Halleck’s dead soul to lean what happened he discovers that in violation of the laws of magic, Halleck's soul has been destroyed. In a race against time, the two begin to search for clues to who might have wanted Halleck dead, who would have the power to destroy his soul, and who might have the motive to destroy him in that way. With the city watch intent on finding Kyrie guilty, and Eight Lords Inquisitor increasing concern that Cartophyllus is committing the darkest acts of blasphemy, the two follow a trail of clues across the city of London into the office of the Prime Minister himself to stop a plot to murder the Prince of Wales and so that Spence Cavendish can ascend to the thrown. I am looking for help with plotting, pacing, characters, and any other problems with the novel

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This spine-tingling fantasy is sure to take you on a supernatural ride. Meet Stuart Duffelmeyer, a soon-to-be top graduate of NYU’s School of Veterinary Medicine. Stuart is targeted by eight of his egomaniacal college classmates once they learn he’s desperate to break his virginity. His classmates lure him to a sleazy motel in the South Bronx where they play out a heinous prank. His night ends in utter disappointment after learning that his date was just a beautiful mechanical doll. He suffered severely as a result of their callous behavior and feels he must get even with his tormentors. A chance encounter allows him to come across a magical Hebrew talisman with undescribable powers. Once the talisman is consecrated, Stuart is brought away from Earth and into the far regions of another galaxy. The spirit of his one-time chief rabbi, Irwin Wedemeyer, explains to him that the talisman will grant him miraculous powers over the creatures and elements of the Earth. Rabbi Wedemeyer insists that Stuart not abuse the powers bestowed upon him. He returns to Earth and his fun is about to begin. His first target is the main orchestrator of the prank. One of the most dreaded creatures in all of New York City plagues his office and his home, wreaking havoc to the point of causing him mental anguish. The seven other culprits have moved to different cities throughout the country. Little do they know that Stuart’s absolute domination over Earthly creatures and elements will bring plagues of unspeakable horrors into their lives. This will teach the eight of them that asking for his forgiveness is the only way to terminate the plagues inflicted upon them. Oh, how sweet revenge can be. This stirring tale of adventure, intrigue, redemption and mystical powers is sure to get the adrenalin pumped.

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The free city of Anderholm prospered at the crossroads of kingdoms, its gates open and its citizens engrossed in wickedness and scandal. Two scholars have come to change its fate. One seeks an ancient treasure, while the other longs to bring back the Age of Magic. Between them stands Shadyia, a pawn in their game who becomes the key to their ambitions. For men, she is an insatiable seductress. For women, an envied rival. For one, a loyal friend. Passionate and cunning, she is Shadyia, a Sister of the Silver Rose. A whore with pride.

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This is the start of a novel I've had in my head for awhile, I am looking for feedback!!Especially when it comes to the title and of course story line, I have placed this as a Restricted rated novel but I'm not sure if it should be...I know at the beginning its not much but the story does get much more adult content wise, please let me know if I should change the rating as we go along!! Thanks in advance to everyone!!

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SHADOW WOLF SERIES: Remembrance (Cameron&Sophia), The Three Kingdoms (Aedan&Kathleen-no longer Bianca), Cursed (Ian&Kirrah). BOOK 1: Remembrance: Sophia considers her life pretty much normal, that is until she befriends a gigantic wolf, who happens to push her down a waterfall. Technically, the fall wasn’t so bad and she would have forgiven her four legged friend, but when she emerges from the water, she finds herself several hundred years in the past, in Scotland of all places, abandoned by the wolf. Lucky for her, she is rescued by a handsome Scotsman, or so the arrogant lout says. Really, what’s wrong with the man? One minute he drives her mad with his kisses, the next he accuses her of being a witch. Cameron’s nights are plagued by dreams of a spirit, begging him to remember something long forgotten, and his days are tormented by a lovely stranger, who very well could be a spy from the enemy clan. What is a laird to do? Keeping the lass will only anger his mistress and cause him great distraction at the time of war, but the thought of sending her away leaves him barren. When Sophia saves his life, he learns that maybe there is more to life than empty passion and the sound of clashing steel.

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This started out as a few short stories. I'm now trying to weave them into a cohesive novel. The first three chapters introduce characters and settings from a frozen wasteland to an errant pirate ship. I've re-worked it a bit with the help of some reviews and this is the second draft. I'd appreciate any thought you have. Thank you.

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Another rambling thought. Word springs? Do we all have little wells of words swimming around trying to latch on to others forming a thought? I don't know but they seem to me like little children who are going to be heard whether you like it or not. Sorry for the word count!

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The BOWW Autumn Tour Route

The entire novel is posted.

This is Babyface Fire, a work of comedic fantasy, the second book in the Geffia series. This book involves a new story many new characters, so while it helps to have read the Adventure Tournament first to get some of the references, it's not required.

Loebo Anders is a member of the adventuring company known as the Chosen Squad. Aside from sharing daring escapades with his friends and acquiring treasure, his main desire in life is to marry the lovely Alyssa Blume. However, when he sets out to rescue her from her overprotective father and take her away with him, things don't exactly go as planned. Loebo finds out a bounty has been placed on his head... by his own grandmother!

While the rest of the Squad tries to unravel the circumstances behind this mysterious bounty, Loebo falls in with a wrestler-turned-adventurer named Bleg. Before he can return Loebo safely to Foeny City, they decide to help out a female wrestler named Syrana by escorting her to her new job at BOWW, Bleg's old stomping grounds and the premier pro wrestling league in all of Bolognia. While Bleg confronts his past, Loebo suddenly finds himself in the middle of the biggest wrestling storyline of the year.

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Shayd is a mixed-blood – an outcast – who was abandoned at birth. After teaming up with an unlikely ally, a stoic Shokan elf named Raven, the two of them set out in search of Shayd's parents. Unfortunately, since mixed-bloods are looked down on and hated by all, the quest turns out to be even harder than he ever imagined. This is a story I've been working on for about three years, now. Many, many drafts later I am finally preparing to send it out to agents. The feedback I am looking for is basically to see if it's a story people would like to read. I am curious to see if it's interesting and entertaining enough, and I may be open to some suggestions if I feel they fit with the characters and general plot. Please feel free to tell me what you think – bad or good. I look forward to hearing what you think!

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This is a revision of Randolf. For any and all who read the first draft, I humbly thank you. I have embraced all of the advice given and edited accordingly. You will find that this is an entirely new approach, although the same story. Thank you for your original advice. Please give this one a read and let me know what your thoughts are. Thank you so much!

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The free city of Anderholm prospered at the crossroads of kingdoms, its gates open and its citizens engrossed in wickedness and scandal. Two scholars have come to change its fate. One seeks an ancient treasure, while the other longs to bring back the Age of Magic. Between them stands Shadyia, a pawn in their game who becomes the key to their ambitions. For men, she is an insatiable seductress. For women, an envied rival. For one, a loyal friend. Passionate and cunning, she is Shadyia, a Sister of the Silver Rose. A whore with pride.

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In this urban fantasy setting refugees from a mystical world are transposed into a sprawling megalopolis on Earth filled with a seemingly delusional and naive populace of humans. What the humans are coining as new gang activity in the area, turns out to be much, much worse than what they had imagined possible. Four icons from a fantasy realm (a goblin, a half-dragon, a dark-elf, and a half-ogress) attempt to aid the humans as much as they can. But what can they do against a city filled with delusional crack-pots and greedy, deranged, blood-thirsty monsters from another world? The story is still a bit rough, but I'm putting it out there anyway to benefit from your review. While I'm grateful for suggestions on attaining mechanical precision, I'm more interested in whether the story flows well and keeps your interest. How is the dialog? Do you want to keep reading this story? Your feedback is appreciated!

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The Goopeater is the magical coming-of-age tale of Arya, a 13-year-old boy from San Francisco who is tormented by bullies in the school for eating "goop". In the wake of an accident that has left his once-vibrant mother a husk of her former self, Arya clings to the only bond left: an old, battered copy of an ancient book about good versus evil. One night, he is sucked through a crack in his floorboards and drawn into a magical world. Guided by the book which is the very last copy left, he travels the land, meeting a sage who has walked the earth since the beginning of time, monkey warriors and fearsome demons. Arya soon discovers that this new world is, in fact, an old world, and that he has stepped into the story of the Ramayana, the setting and characters before him mirroring the pages of the book that he prizes so dearly. When his book is stolen by the villain of the story, the demon king Anavaar, who wants to erase history and rewrite it from his own vantage point, Arya must embark on his own quest to retrieve the beloved keepsake. Aided by a mysterious Medicine Woman and guided by the principles of ancient warrior training, he overcomes the trials of the demons. In facing his fears, he learns that the Medicine Woman is indeed an embodiment of his mother's Higher Self, the true soul of the kind and vibrant mother he remembers, and that Anavaar is actually a conglomerate of the bullies that torment his daily existence. Realizing that he is not alone and coming to terms with his heritage, Arya is able to move forward with the battle, accept his mother's death, and finally go home where he is no longer known as the Goopeater.

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Again, a brief fairy story in the form of a drabble-y poem, about where lost things go. I imagine he also sweeps the floor of dryer lint, when no-one's watching, because that's only good manners. And dryer lint is *fuzzy*.

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I posted this some time ago but it was then written in third person perspective. I've experimented by rewriting it in first person narrative as I'd like to enter it for a competition and they favour first person. I would value any feedback that will help improve it, or whether you simply enjoyed it as it is. A big thanks in advance, Keen

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Thanks to everyone for the excellent feedback on the 1st draft. I have tried to incorporate some of your suggestions in this second draft.

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Working on another round of major revisions. I'm primarily changing the backstory and using the raven myths of the Scandinavian and Norse cultures as a basis. I've changed the names of many of the characters and am wondering if the slightly less common names are distracting.

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I'm trying to evoke the feeling that magic could really exist somewhere, and how empty this world feels without it.

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This is the story of three childhood friends, cursed through their own ignorant arrogance towards the supernatural and paranormal. Charlie, Noelle and Harry decide to see how much than scare themselves by going to the forest at 3am on Halloween. There they are cursed and have to deal with the aftermath of becoming a werewolf (Charlie), berseker (Noelle) and demon (Harry). Noelle and Charlie stick together and start a detective agency to have an income. This is their story, as they look to help others, find a cure and redemption, and seek a normal life.

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AMERICAN WOLF is a modern tale about the strange and troubled life of Jake Stanford, an unmotivated, cynical young man trying to make a life for himself in Chicago, while struggling to control his drinking and the tendency to occasionally change into a monster and eat people. Living hand to mouth and self medicating have gotten him by in the past, but recent events in his life have taken several turns for the worse and everything seems to be coming apart at the seams. Jake's meds that have allowed him to enjoy a modicum of control over his condition are starting to lose their efficacy, he's been accused of a murder he's not sure he didn't commit, and something is trying to kill him. Can Jake control himself and his other side in time to clear his name, or will he succumb to his own destructive nature and that of the shadowy assassin dogging his every move? A dark secret from his past may hold the key.

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Fifteen-year-old Cate is fuming at the sucky ‘we r ova’ text from her loser ex when everyone around her suddenly freezes. Breathing, but still like statues. As she picks her jaw up off the ground, three teenagers appear out of nowhere. The trio are suspicious of Cate but decide to ignore her. One hoists a bus over his head while another safeguards the future leader of the free world. Their words, not hers. The third one disarms a bomb planted under Cate’s bus. Then after decapitating someone from the crowd they vanish. To avoid appearing insane Cate says nothing... to anyone. The teens show up at her school. No one is frozen this time, but everyone at school acts like they've know these strangers for ever. It’s like they’ve always been there. What the hell? When she accidently brings a dead cheerleader back to life, Cate discovers this weirdness is because she’s going to be a Timesurfer. In fact, she’s like the chosen one for Team Evil, who use their magical powers to manipulate history. She’ll have to fight against the other Timesurfers who protect history. Like Austin. One killer smile from him and she was hooked. If she joins him she’ll be stripped of her ability to raise the dead and sent back to her vanilla life. Doing the right thing and getting the super hot guy should make her decision easy. However, creating zombies and being important bad-ass sounds well... awesome. When the ultimate bad-boy, Jonah, arrives he starts pressing all Cate’s buttons. Team Evil is looking way more tempting than Cate could ever have imagined. I've have reposted chpt 1 to 3 for the strongest start competition with all the edits so they tie onto the end. Tess xx

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Greg knows changes are coming. Samantha has no clue. Soon they will meet and together they'll discover that their fates need major re-work! This is a YA fantasy with romance elements.

Thank you for reading . . .

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Young adult urban fantasy. There's something unusual about Christian, the new guy at school. As Jordan gets to know him better, and learns the reason he moved to her small town in the first place, she discovers that he is from the mysterious Celtic shadowland and that the magic of his world has brought the two of them together for a reason. Thanks to everyone who took time to read this. Your comments have been invaluable. I am rewriting, so if you read this before I'd appreciate hearing what you think about the changes I've made. As always I appreciate all feedback.

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"Fasten your seatbelt, it's going to be a bumpy ride."--Eve

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Sequel to The Evolution of Janie. I always appreciate feedback of all types, however this is a sequel and it is written with the assumption that the reader has read The Evolution of Janie and is familiar with the characters and what has happened in the previous book, so when reviewing for content, character development and background story please take that into consideration. :)

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Its hard when you have to enter a state of hibernation and there is a succubus hunting you. Then again, a few millennium can weigh on a person. Gotta sleep sometime right? I am hoping to polish this first draft. its missing something, but i can't tell what. Thanks in advance for lowering the hammer and letting me know anything you might not like, or see that needs attention. Thanks guys:)

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The novel will be released for sale on my facebook page and on Amazon on August 2, 2011. As such, I have disabled everything except the first three chapters. If you are interested in purchasing, please like my facebook page:
Nicholas Andrews - Independent Author

This is a work of comedic fantasy, so be prepared for a lot of crude, rude and "dude" humor. This is the first book to take place in my world of Geffia. Brief synopsis:

Remy Fairwyn is an enthusiastic youngster, whose ambition is to travel the land in search of fame and treasure, righting wrongs and winning glory along the way. Unfortunately, he's currently enrolled in a seemingly neverendi...ng program of education at Foeny University. And he has a father who disapproves of such pursuits. And he happens to have a mind more suited to a pack mule than a great warrior. But that all changes when the kingdom's powers-that-be introduce an Adventure Tournament, with instant fame being the prize at the end.

This story contains (1) corrupt organization looking to use the kingdom's woes to swell its own coffers. Contains your daily requirement of Feminist Healers, Professional Wrestlers, Drama Kings, Pompous Asses, Narcoleptic Thieves, Overbearing Fathers, Ambiguous Relations, Runaway Treasure Chests, Flying Shoes and a pinch of Cute Kitty Monsters Willing to Devour Any and All. Also contains one (1) Remy, perhaps the most ill-suited adventurer to ever wield a big piece of wood. Stir the brain well before reading; side effects may include side-splitting laughter, mild cases of forehead slapping and erectile dysfunction. Do not read if pregnant.

Will Remy be able to confront all these elements and cook up an unlikely victory? Or is his participation a recipe for disaster?

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Feedback please! I respect the writers here, and I have thick skin. Every comment means so much to me! Thanks Justin

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From my first two reviews I see that my story is confusing at the end. What I am trying to do is: - each time Hope puts a paper with a symptom in the purple box, that aspect of her past is gone - I tried to show this with changes in her speech patterns and word choice and how she expresses herself. - after she puts in hopeless, anger and dependency, these are no longer part of her past and she has a different history and life. - i think I made the last change too different. Any tips on how I can accomplish this better are greatly appreciated! TIA to all who review! All comments welcome - even negative ones. they help me improve. Cheers, Cheri

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This is a fantasy story... It tells of ancient abilities, long forgotten by most of us, to harness the powers of light and dark matter in the here and now... But such power begets revenge, jealousy, murder, slaughter... Can it be harnessed for the good of mankind, or, can it be stopped before such powerful abilities are misused by a few...???

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An addition to the anthology "A Visitor to Sandahl", this short story follows Cable Hornman and his two companions on an adventure into the mountains just north of Sandahl in the mystical land of Methanasia. Written for 'A Visitor to Sandahl' anthology, this episode picks up where "Heart of an Assassin" left off, it mentions events from "The Road to Sandahl" and has a cameo appearance by the 7 Dwarfs.

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The First Chapter of the Bubble Frogs - a novel for children of all ages involving Killer Toads, Giant Millipedes, Evil Ugglesomes, Corrupt Journalists, Weird Infoons, Incompetent Policemen, a Deranged Teacher and Two Lost Boys!!

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Written as a ballad for main character in the Cable Hornman series about a traveling bard.

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Fidelity is a notion that at its most abstract level implies a truthful connection to a source or sources. Its original meaning dealt with loyalty and attentiveness to one's duty to a lord or a king or a... This is 2nd story recently revised and will soon write as a film script. This is also my first short story. Written in 2010.

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twenty-something girl finds Aladin's lamp at a garage sale and wackiness ensues. This wasn't really intended to be a novel, but the 5000 word thing made me chop it into 2 pieces.

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The myth of Odysseus and Circe from Circe's point of view.

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In the First Age a gifted race, the Felwarn, were created to guard mankind from the evil god of that world. Over the ages the Felwarn withdrew from humanity and eventually became distant legends from an ancient world.

Now, in the Fifth Age, a new generation of Felwarn are leaving their safe homeland to take the traditional road of initiation. Felwarn law decrees they must keep their identity and powers hidden from humans.
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Please Note: /1. Word Count; It is a concern but I've discovered it's not a matter of trimming words, but of streamlining the story. I will look at the big picture after completion. But you are welcome to flag scenes you think might not be necessary. /2. Big revisions/rewrites take me time, and will likely take place after this draft stage. Minor tweaks/grammar checks occur along the way.
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This story was in the Finals of the Strongest Start Four (2010) Fantasy genre. I also recip on reviews. Thank you!

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I have added the character Roselyn, Princess Evaughnlynn's cousin, Any and all criticism gladly accepted. You won’t hurt my feelings. Princess Evaughnlynn( E von lin) of Hawkland, a small northern kingdom on the island of Ellisland,was engaged at the age 3 to Prince Thrall of Anglia, an empire to the south. The story starts when she is twelve and is given a stone of power (basically a crystal that stores knowledge and amplifies psychic power). Stone bearers, or wizards, are usually middle aged and fall into three categories, dru, or healers, and priests, called wizards, and scholars, called sorcerers). Great evil is on the move and the Elf Lady Gwerydd foresees that as queen of Anglia, Evaughnlynn will be in a position to save Ellisland. She passes her the stone and dies. The dark forces move against her. Fortunately, she has three allies, her cousin Roselyn, Phylon, a man-at-arms in her father’s forces and her cousin Beowyn, the son of her father’s Captain of the Guard.

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For Lee's Sandahl Anthopology Project! There will be names/places you will NOT know. Drow is a dark-elf. Written in 1st/present. A first for me, and a great challenge. This is character PERSPECTIVE (It might seem to slip out of pov). THANKYOU for great reviews/suggestions. I will implement as soon as possible. Hope you like it Lee :)

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His entire life is spent paying for the sins of his conception and birth. Charged by his grandmother with exterminating the blood line of his father who caried a gene created by the elves for use as a wepon in their war to exterminate the dwarves. He is comeing to dislike the world nearly as much as he dispises himself and resents his grandmother. In the end he is forced to except her wisdom and pursues the evil of his kin with something close to joy. and that only serves to make him like himself less.

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Young women are recruited to kidnap twelve year old girls from public places, noone ever hears from them again until one of the girls escapes. To help her deal with her ordeal, she is taken to a psychologist who is a member of the Dar, an ancient society charged with protecting the earth.

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When Troubadour Merriweather - all round nerd and straight-laced twit, becomes despondent one night, he is plunged into a mini Twilight Zone!!!

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Tiamat Ashtad, or Tash as she is called, is thrown into the middle of a high profile kidnapping when the suspect targets her. She's got to reach inside and learn who she really is to rescue the children and save herself. I'm looking for feedback on everything. Don't worry about being gentle I've got thick skin. I do however ask that you respect myself and my characters. I'm here to learn and grow. :)

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The name of the the town at the base of the mountain where the Dragons are is now "Little Al"

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I've noted several specualtive fiction publishers complaining they don't get much humor, so I dusted this old story off and am considering submitting. Please let me know where it could stand to be improved. Part 2 will be posted Monday latest.

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This is an addition to Lee's anthology "A Visitor to Sandahl". Still very rough, please point out places I can tighten up or describe more. It's a very mellow story, no earth-shattering disasters, or terrible cruelties, just a small decision that changes one man's life. Ann and Karen, hope you don't mind my liberties with your stories. Tell me if I got the details wrong.

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I would appreciate any feedback on this draft. Don't be shy, I have a VERY thick skin.

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The Cloud has been hovering over Las Vegas for weeks. People are frightened, praying and repenting of their sins. Deep in the bowels of the earth, a mini-city is buzzing with industry ... A Fantasy.

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Synopsis: Phillip is a college student living in New Orleans who teaches karate and does magic shows to make ends meet. After two mysterious strangers sweep Phillip into a strange world where magic is real "for his own safety" Phillip is forced to use all of his fighting and sleight of hand skills just to stay alive. Will Phillip survive long enough to discover all of the secrets of his own cloudy past and why powerful forces seek his destruction? Feedback desired: This is my first attempt at a fantasy novel so I would appreciate thorough criticism and advice by those more experienced.

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A 100 word drabble converted into a 100 word poem. A fairy tale attempting to answer, "Where did the time go?"

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Alexander is an orphan who's only desire is to find a family that will take him in and love him. He can't seem to get adopted though - no matter what he does. While he feels that no one wants him, he quickly learns that there is more to his mysterious past than he was lead to believe. Follow Alexander as he discovers his roots, learns of magic, and finds the other world from which he came. Oh, and everyone wants him, he just doesn't know it yet.

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Naruto is my favourite Manga (and Anime) I thought I'd post this in case anyone does read it. It's an amazing story. This particular poem is about the Demon Fox which was sealed into Naruto when he was a baby. In parts it's Naruto speaking to the Demon inside him - and about the isolation and rage that comes from the Demon. Most likely no one will understand this - ohwell! I enjoy writing fanfic poetry, so I was compelled to post. Ask anything if you like. :D

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A philandering Cavalier meets with adventure as he journeys through an enchanted land.

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*************PLEASE TAKE NOTE, THIS HAS BEEN ABANDONED FOR THE RE-WRITE******************* (I have performed a major rewrite and changed the title.) This novel involves three lives caught up in the miserable web of slavery. Desperation and vengeance drive the three main characters: Alain Gravois, the son of a fisherman living in Nantes, France, struggles to become his own man; Osawe, a warrior, living in a small village situated between two warring kingdoms along the 'slave coast' of Africa, struggles to survive; and Assad, a moor, and military man, is betrayed by an empire that is being torn apart. France, the 'slave coast' of Africa, Morocco and Haiti are the backdrop to their story which spans twenty-three years, 1727 to 1750. All criticism is welcome.

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Any feedback, good and bad is appreciated. That said.... It started with a honey bear and a pizza

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Necromancer, sequel to the Blood Inheritance, takes us to the darker side of the magical world Alexandria Reed has found herself emmersed in. Her friend's emerging powers as a necromancer has put them all in danger. An old enemy from the Cameron's past has come to exact her revenge. It will take all thier combined skills to stop the ancient evil, but will be enough to save them all?

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Attorney Emmett Stump's first appearance. A trip to the Navajo reservation fulfills Emmett's desire for a coveted treasure from the past. What happens when he gets it home quickly changes his mind.

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Warning: This contains Purple! who am I kidding? its a velvet indigo cushion with tassels and gold trim. :D My first title choice was 'What's in a Name?' but it was taken. This place/event/characters are from my fantasy world. Although it does not take place in the current time frame of my novel. I hope you enjoy it.

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Ally's biggest problem wasn't that she couldn't get to the altar for her wedding--It was working her way through the land of M before anyone notices she's gone.

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In a modern era where magic is as real as technology, black magic is a more potent threat to civilization than terrorism or rogue nations. I'm interested in receiving advice on word choice, phrasing, story flow, plot decisions, and anything else the reader can think of that will improve the story.

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This is rhiannon on Rhiannon expanded; as suggested. It has an ending, is either more truthful or it is not. Remember when I tell you anything about this story that "I am Lying Now."

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This is meant to be a children's story with illustrations--I'm not sure whether this is the right place to post it, but I'd still be interested in any feedback I get. I'm not thrilled with the writing--I think it falls flat. Maybe I should scrap and start over. . .

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A Re-boot of the Rhiannon series. It rewrites the first Rhiannon story (published elsewhere)The Gorgon. It is deliberately inconsistent with other stories published or workshopped. Rhiannon is more complicated, Rosalyn has a different status, it is in 3rd person. It has themes of transformation,the loss and reclamation of important things (although they are not what the characters or readers think at first). A word on its setting: this is not set in medieval Europe. It takes place on a world that is about 11th century in terms of its social and technological development, but is 30 lightyears away from Earth, which is occupied by a world (Terra) with 21st century development. It takes place in our future, but in that world's (worlds') past. One culture is corrupted by Terran society, others are not. Oddities like the characters using slang from the US c. 2009 is thus explained. It is the tale of the fall and rise of Rhiannon, the ever so great descendent of the lengendary woman/goddess of the same name. All feedback is appreciated. Thank you.

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This book explores the curiosity and fearless determination of youth. It takes place long ago and revolves around Kate Powers, a nineteen year old who reluctantly accepts an enchanted package filled with 'tools' to start her on the journey of a lifetime. Her pursuit opens the door to magic, mystery, and a family history she could never have imagined. I am looking forward to and will appreciate any and all feedback.

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A nine-year-old boy befriends his ailing great-aunt and fears losing her. Many thanks to all who have given valuable feedback so far; much appreciated!

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Alderyle is being slowly invaded by an enemy they thought was dead. The evil is spreading even into the sacred, isolated lands of the Whitshire people, the Children of the Ancients, a nearly immortal race of craftsmen, farmers and tradesmen. "Dove" Athelhard is Whitshire's pride and joy, a young silversmith respected and loved by all. Suddenly accused of a crime he didn't commit, he's cast out into a harsh world he'd only heard about in travellers' tales to right a wrong that never existed. Helped by a small band of friends, he endures unimagined hardships and danger and discovers a destiny forged in prophecy.***Feedback: Smooth read? Plot holes? Continuity errors? Strong or weak sections? Typos?

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John forces himself to go to yet another boring ball as escort to his widowed aunt...never imagining that it would lead to the adventure of his life!

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Amongst the humans live people with talents; people like the Knowledgeables. A small percentage of the population are Special People, and only a small percentage of them ever become aware of their gifts. In a world where races such as Hunter-Seekers, Wingsmen, Curets, Tick-Tocks, and DeathWatchers mingle with the human population, only the uncooperative and stubborn Knowledgeables truly know how these gifts can be used to rule the world. A combination dark fantasy, thriller and present-day character/relationship-driven story.

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On the world of Guya… In an age of darkness… A time when the Inquisition raged and the Church of the All Father sent Inquisitors and Witch Hunters into the lands to burn witches. One such witch was named Sundra. Sentenced to death by fire, she escapes her fate with the aid of a mysterious swordsman named Jorn. Together they must forge a bond as Sundra takes the oath to be the next Oathbearer and wield the powerful Sword of Balance to destroy the church and save the world from an ancient and unholy evil.

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When Glory Rattinuss falls in love with Cosmos Sharpteeth,she doesn't realise the opposition to their marriage will involve a long, perilous journey to the Shining Mountains. This is a children's fantasy fiction novella.

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Another short story I wrote in one sitting. It occurred to me that all of my stories were about dragons, or so it seemed at the time, so I decided my next one would have a unicorn. And this sarcastic guy came out.

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It's All Mercenary is a humorous take on the overly used plot of a quest. You have your generic characters: Mage, Barbarian, Healer, Mercenary, etc, but they are filled by personalities who don't quite fit the boundaries of their roles. Told in first person. I have thick skin, so don't be afraid to tell it like you see it. NOTE TO NEW READERS: The early chapters need a lot of work. I know this and I will edit them eventually. This is only a first draft.

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Vampires, werewolves... Alius Res? Ellia thinks it's all fantasy and legend. Well, turns out at least the first two are. Ever wonder who or what is behind all the outrageous stories of supernatural beings? Why do some people swear it's all true? Ellia Jacobson doesn’t have time for irrational legends. Just a couple of months from her seventeenth birthday, she has real problems to worry about. Hallucinations, whispering voices, and vivid dreams plague her day and night. Her parents are never around anymore. Lonely and vulnerable, she plays into friendly manipulations. She might not believe in Alius Res, but that won't stop what they intent for her.

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An idea for an English creative writing unit im doing atm. It's based on a myth I love, starting half way through. It's based on the goddess Rhiannon. Let me know what you think. I've re-done the ending of this, but I havn't tey had a chance to have a look at editing the rest! Please tell me your comments on whether this ending wraps up te story better...and if it tells you the reasons for her being framed etc...and if you can work out who stole the baby! =D

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(I'm currently in the process of revising. I can't decide where I want to end book one, so I'm going rewrite until I get there!) A kid from the inner-city finds out he AIN'T from the inner-city. He's the Hearth Tender, protector of the divine flame that fuels all life on Stargleam, a planet in the ninth realm. Before he can assume his duties, however, he must figure out a way to get home!

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Don that perfect outfit, and you can play the part.

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Ever imagine what a poet dreams?

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Redemption, Arkansas is a small country town where things aren't always what they seem and the people never are...

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A man is offered a new life to replace his old one.

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What makes a human, human? Are heroes born, bred, or created?

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In this era where science fiction is becoming science fact, technology is mixing with strongly held myths, and art is blending the chaos to shine a light on the rapid changes, we will either destroy ourselves or else learn to live in peace, without and within. This is the story of a particularly gifted young psychic, Aurora Swift, and the psychiatrist who tries to unravel her worlds, and in doing so unintentionally comes into contact with interconnected universal mysteries, dimensions, ancient beings and civilizations. Mixture of fantasy and reality genres. Mainly, the two settings are the modern day present with a bit of government conspiracy, and a sort of underworld that Aurora calls the Night World she escapes into to keep her sanity intact what with the pressures of her life. We meet a lot of other psychics in Aurora's circle and travel all over the U.S. and the world in search of some type of salvation. ** The first six or so chapters are non-linear and deliberately jarring as Aurora is experiencing a crossover of dimensions and times that will be sorted out in later chapters.// If I were to summarize the emotional stew or message of the story, it might go something like this: It is easy to wonder if our lives are worthless and actions are pointless because all will be forgotten one day. If every inventor, thinker, artist, intuitive being, and scientist followed through with this line of thinking, we’d still be in the Dark Ages or perhaps cause a new one. In this time of flourishing light, we need not allow the darkness of short-sightedness envelop us. The power is within us to make this world whatever we want it to be and become. And yes, one can make a difference with a little help from her friends.// **NOTE: I am on this site for constructive criticism. If you believe my work is only worthy of a 1 or 2 and feel like writing a snide scathing review or telling me how to write according to you, go somewhere else. My work isn't perfect, but I what I don't need is people who wish to feel superior by cutting me down or taking out their bad day on me. If you "don't get it" either ask me why something is written as it is or read something else. That I've had to explain this is sad, but there are plenty of A-holes in the world and that is reflected by similar percentages on this site. For those of you here to learn and grow and offer positive suggestions: Welcome. ---- (4/23/09 Currently reposted Chapter 1-3 and more coming soon for fans old and new).

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Warning: this novel has at least four levels, is full of sex and violence, and is very fast paced. The Well of Women is at risk, as is the Tourney which Rhiannon wishes to use for pride and peace. But there are riots against offworlders, who the people blame for the rash of mother hate that is spreading through the land. And there is the mysterious Maelan--supposed guardian of the Well, whose malfunction may explain the evil that is afoot.

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He fell through a portal to encounter a strange world. He sought vengence on those who were responsible. This is going to be an entry into a flash fiction contest, so please let me know what you think. Thanks in advance.

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For a thousand years civilized realms have lived in the shadow of the ratmen, a vicious warrior race kept in check by their willingness to slaughter one another. But now the necromancer Demos Azari has summoned a demon lord to gather the ratmen under one banner and march on the lands of men and dwarves. Only one group of heros, the Magician Aaron, the halfling Walley Highspirt, the Paladin Thomas Grey, the dwarf Maximilian, and the dark elf Anastazja hold to key to stopping Demos before the world is engulfed in darkness.

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Rhiannon, prodigal daughter of the king of New Fairy, has suffered a terrible curse. Having humiliated a witch, she must suffer a unique shame--she must go naked, regardless of the weather or social situation. These are the stories of how she reclaims her dignity and fights the evil of men, and her own inner conflicts. Many of these are more light hearted than Rhiannon's Ordeal, and show Rhiannon in the heroic capacity that emerged in her post-curse life. Rhiannon's relationship with Rosalyn is more ambiguous--at least to Rhiannon; I don't think the reader was ever fooled. There are other differences, but I don't think that should matter to the reader. Rhiannon's still her dear, sweet, naked self.

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