Content: horror

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Okay - This is intended to be a short story in maybe 4 parts. It began last night as a potential submission to Pill Hill for its upcoming Monster Mash anthology, which requires at least two mainstream monsters and a good scare. I suspect it will be more humorous than scary, so I guess it's just for fun, unless I discover a latent gory gene. Any feedback and suggestions welcome, as well as guesses as to the nature of the two main characters. Let me know if it's enjoyable so far. The submission guidelines ask for 2000 to 4000 words, and so far I have about 1000. I think I know where it's going to end, but the middle is up for grabs. Who knows? It may end up a good deal longer.

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I'm new, this story is a definate work in progress and in need of some good honest critiquing! As always, any and all feedback is greatly appreciated! Thanks!

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This is a fantasy story... It tells of ancient abilities, long forgotten by most of us, to harness the powers of light and dark matter in the here and now... But such power begets revenge, jealousy, murder, slaughter... Can it be harnessed for the good of mankind, or, can it be stopped before such powerful abilities are misused by a few...???

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Hi, I would love any feedback please. Are there any specific areas that could be improved and how? The spelling is UK English. A big thanks in advance, Keen

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Maggie and her niece, Teal, think they already have problems but when Maggie clears out her cellar for Teal to use as a bolt hole from her nagging mother, something far bigger and more terrible happens than either could ever have expected. I would like general feedback please and any will be appreciated! In UK English as usual. Best, Keen

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Inspired by one of those strange dreams that invariably follows surgery.

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A story of when jealousy can take someone a step too far and the price they have to pay. I would love any feedback on this as all views are thought provoking and helpful. Spelling is British English as usual. Many thanks in advance! Keen

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It's Muriel's fortieth birthday. She decides to have an enjoyable day, alone, at the City Zoo. But she comes up against something far more threatening than escaped, wild animals, although she even enounters one of those! I am experimenting with this story as I only wrote it today (I'm exhausted) and wanted to see how something 'off the cuff' is received i.e. how much more work does it need; is it a reasonable premise etc. As usual, all the spelling is UK English. Thanks in advance, Keen

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In an apocalyptic world plagued by the raging, ravenous undead, one of the Four Horsemen has become obsolete. Death himself must find a way to restore the balance in a race against Time, and he can only do it with the help of four unlikely friends.

I’m looking for any and all feedback to help make this as perfect as possible. I am hoping to make this novel something I’ll be able to sell to agents, so any pointers that could help me cater to potential publication would be especially appreciated.

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Just something that sort of popped into my head. What do you think? Not my normal style of writing so am not sure how it works here.

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Kelsie Kryder is shaken by a violent storm. The tempest has unearthed memories from her childhood she has kept buried all these years. What really happened that day twenty years ago when she met the stranger by the wrecked car? Could he really be her next of kin, or was her next of kin the voice in her own head?

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Any and all criticism gladly accepted. I can miss a typo 15 times. I have no idea what works and what doesn’t. Trust me, you won’t hurt my feelings. Until I started writing I though show and tell was something kids did in school and passive voice meant the guy was a whimp. This story is about a young princess named Evaughnlynn of Hawkland, a small northern kingdom on the island of Ellisland. She was engaged at the age 3 to Prince Thrall of Anglia, an empire to the south. The story starts when she is twelve and is given a stone of power (basically a crystal that stores and amplifies psychic power). This is unheard of. Stone bearers, or wizards, are usually middle aged and older and fall into three categories, dru, or healers, priests and scholars. Great evil is on the move and the Elf Lady Gwerydd foresees that as queen of Anglia, Evaughnlynn will be in a position to save Ellisland. She passes her the stone and dies. Unfortunately, Lady Gwerydd isn’t the only one to see the possibilities of Evaughnlynn’s possession of a stone and the dark forces move against her. Fortunately for her, she has two allies, Phylon, a man-at-arms in her father’s forces who is more than he seems and Beowyn her third cousin and the son of her father’s Captain of the Guard.

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Just some general feedback please. Anything that comes to mind and would help improve any aspect of the story! Cheers, Keen

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The Shed is the expanded version of my flash story, Look At Him, Daddy.

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I would love to get back into writing horror so I'm looking for general feedback on this and if there's anything that will improve it. Thanks in advance. Keen

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This is an old poem circa 1987 that my wife recently unearthed from an old, forgotten diary. This is somewhere in between a poem and a short story. I plan to include this, along with "Bane" in a gothic werewolf novel I am currently working. I am seeking any and all feedback. Thanks for taking the time to read, and hopefully, review as well.

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Professor Randall Hartwig and Professor Brian Hall @ SMU were on an expedition in Iraq when they discovered skeletal remains of possible proof of a Prenoachian civilization of Nephilum. Genesis chapter 6: (Men of renoun, large men, giants, descendants of fallen Angels). The Nephilum used their strength, size, and power to pervert God's creations and were cursed by God to destroy eachother and become evil spirits after death. The find of the nearly 100 foot human-like skeletal bones were a Theological Archiology find of the century and changed the course of history around the world. Christianity had a new voice and could challenge the Big Bang and Evolution theories. But the discovery came with a price. The Evil Spirits were released and were on a mission to open the gates of Hell and free the fallen Angels and set the course of mankind into an early Armegedan. Type of feed back requested: Opinions on style, creativity, and development of story. Character assessment and flow of story.

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With the attack that almost cost her life, Brenna James finds herself in a world that she never expected. Hunted and afraid, she's in for the fight of her life.

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Snap…crackle…pop. The sounds of bones breaking and shifting and of muscles tearing haunt Alex Reed as she discovers a terrifying secret about her family. Because of that secret she and her brother are now being hunted. With the help of her new friends who hold dark secrets themselves, can she survive?

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I have recently begun cleaning up my past work using everyone’s suggestions. I wrote this last year and I cleaned it up a bit. Im looking for further help anything people can suggest will be appreciated.

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Here it is - part two of my horror story. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

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Hi everyone. I wanted to try my hand at a horror story. I wanted to see if I could make it truly scary. I kinda think it is, but please let me know if you think so. This is part one of a two-part story. I tried to keep it under 5,000 words but I just couldn't do it. Summary: A haunted house reality TV show crew have a problem - ratings are down and they need to find a cheap location and make it really scary. The house has no problem with that. But they be in for more than they bargained for...

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The tale comes to a close - why did the cousin abandon an inheritance of millions? What's in the trunk and all the unexplained events surrounding it? Hmm... BTW, a link to Part 1 is included. If you have not already done so, please read Part 1 first, a quick read, to get up to speed (an address is provided below.) No need to review the first section. And of course, all comments and suggestions are most welcome for Part 2. I thank you - R A Keen Part 1: http://www.thenextbigwriter.com/library/index.html/read/38504

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The story is speculative fiction, part 1 of a tale of an alternative cause and effect system, one that operates in the background of the story and is often thought of as Magic. Black or White, who can say? The answer is in the eye of the gentle reader. So is Justice, by the way, including the lengths some may go to achieve it. Magic anyone?

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If something is too good to be true it probably is

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Siera begins to fear her life when those around her start to die. The detective on the case is floundering and falling for the person he is trying to protect. Can he solve the case before the vampire killer decides to claim his ultimate prize? It's my first draft of the novel (placing it up as i go), so it can be quiet rough. I'm hoping to get the main concepts and plot down and then develop it more, especially with your comments :). I would love feedback in all regards to this story, including any suggestions on where i can improve to make this story more catchy, faster, better character development, or generally better, please let me know! I generally suck at grammar etc so any tips on things i am doing wrong or could be improved are greatly appreciated! Thanks!

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The beginning is a prelude to Nino's unwanted departure back home. A spate of Confirmed unprovoked shark attacks is taking Californian beaches by storm. In a span of just two weeks, sixty four people died, hundreds left in dire need of stitches. The cause? A group of Africans can think of no better way to bring him home to attend his coronation rites.

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The Edge of Propinquity will publish "The Last Call" to be featured under their Guest Author section.

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Roots and plants provide the key of life as people disappear on a neighborhood with good neighbors. An old man is the key of everything else. Mystery is the main catalyst.

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A philandering Cavalier meets with adventure as he journeys through an enchanted land.

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The story is about a man who feels guaranteed and comforted by the faith he is in. Yet, his righteousness gets him into trouble. I wrote this sometime back. Can you tell me what are the good points and the points that need improvement? It was one of my first attempts at writing short stories. Like have I actually captured the environment to make people frightened, if so, how? Though, how can I improve in writing more vividly. Thanks.

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Necromancer, sequel to the Blood Inheritance, takes us to the darker side of the magical world Alexandria Reed has found herself emmersed in. Her friend's emerging powers as a necromancer has put them all in danger. An old enemy from the Cameron's past has come to exact her revenge. It will take all thier combined skills to stop the ancient evil, but will be enough to save them all?

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Valentine is a Child of Loki, one of the original Berserker tribesmen of Norse Folklore. With unobstructed access to the minds of his chosen victims and the ability to assume their precise physical characteristics, Valentine takes what he wants, when and from where he pleases. He lives his life as the ultimate identity thief, unconstrained by the password-encrypted barriers his human counterparts face. For seventy years, Valentine shunned the decadent, egoistic ways of his compatriots, but the discovery of a fiend operating under his very nose, will test his love for the human race.

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Twins have been known to have a strong connection. Strong enough in certain cases to border on the supernatural. So one might wonder what would happen to this connection when one out lives the other. Does it fade and disappear, or does it perhaps linger? Meet Matthew and Jake Harrison, twin brothers and sons of bestselling author William Harrison. After his father and brother's tragic deaths, Jake is forced to live with his great Aunt Lydia whom he barely knows. Edgar Mason, a mute, learns that he has been imbued with strange powers. Powers that will help him get revenge on a cruel world that has tormented him. Edgar Mason was a victim, but as The Raven, this will happen, Nevermore. Any and all feedback welcome.

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This is the second part of brother and sister duo, Toby and Alaska's foray into the House of Bones. I got some really helpful feedback from Part One and I'm planning on making the changes when I've collected any suggestions for this second part. My main worry about this story is whether it is too nasty. I know horror stories can be the stuff of nightmares but not sure if I went too far with this one. Anyway, all responses will be greatly appreciated. It's UK spelling as usual. Thanks, Keen

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In a modern era where magic is as real as technology, black magic is a more potent threat to civilization than terrorism or rogue nations. I'm interested in receiving advice on word choice, phrasing, story flow, plot decisions, and anything else the reader can think of that will improve the story.

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Just days ago, Madelyn Jacobs thought not getting into any of her top three colleges or snagging the guy who serenaded the summer stars were the biggest nightmares in her life. That was before being raped by her best friend’s boyfriend. That was before being put in a coma by the jealous bitch when she misinterpreted the scene. That was before trying to function after waking up all broken and torn, only to have a demon or something bust into her bedroom and tag her as The Keeper of some freakin’ list.



When the first person of ten dies in her presence, that’s way weird. The second time, it’s bloodcurdling. She can't avoid people, she tries. She can't run, she tries. An unseen hand always ushers her to the next demise, randomly shows her the list, in windows, in mirrors, on scraps of paper, even behind closed lids, and makes her feel more powerless than ever. And the sweet singer she loves now stands at number seven. As tattered as she is, can she find a way to break the curse before others die and the lover of her heart is gone forever?



*Strong language

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A Re-boot of the Rhiannon series. It rewrites the first Rhiannon story (published elsewhere)The Gorgon. It is deliberately inconsistent with other stories published or workshopped. Rhiannon is more complicated, Rosalyn has a different status, it is in 3rd person. It has themes of transformation,the loss and reclamation of important things (although they are not what the characters or readers think at first). A word on its setting: this is not set in medieval Europe. It takes place on a world that is about 11th century in terms of its social and technological development, but is 30 lightyears away from Earth, which is occupied by a world (Terra) with 21st century development. It takes place in our future, but in that world's (worlds') past. One culture is corrupted by Terran society, others are not. Oddities like the characters using slang from the US c. 2009 is thus explained. It is the tale of the fall and rise of Rhiannon, the ever so great descendent of the lengendary woman/goddess of the same name. All feedback is appreciated. Thank you.

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In this one, Nino, a University educated guy returns home to meet his magical grandfather, and the old man teaches him something missed out in the world of horror/fantasy. When Nino failed to agree, the old man decides to show him a practical example, which requires them to travel through the ocean for seven days with no breathing tube or underwater goggles. I will love to hear feedback from you, particularly grammar. Feel free to give a negative criticism if you wish. Thank you very much in advance.

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I wrote with a killer headache one night and decided to post, obviously prematurely. This piece is based upon an actual event. Poetic license has been used and the names have been changed to protect the guilty. This also serves to protect this humble writer. Caution: this is a graphic portrayal, although not nearly as graphic as the pictures of a snuffed innocent child that the jury was forced to endure. As always, any and all reviews, no matter how critical, are welcome.

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Jessica if fleeing her psychopathic husband. Along with her seven year old daughter Meagan, she decides to start a new life in the small town of Hope Springs, Oklahoma. The only problem is a pack of werewolves are secretly killing people in the area. Ebon Moon is a chilling novel of werewolf terror.

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This work rewrites the story of the vampire told through the eyes of a dissaticfied woman who has to decide which life she wants more ... her calm everyday mon-fri 9-5 tv dinner, but no real action life ... or a life seeped in intrigue, travel, art, love, and blood; but soon she questions if the choice was ever hers.

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In a town where nothing ever happens, there's a lot going on. Burned-out sheriff, Luke Hayden, finds himself neck deep in trouble; and between windstorms, an unexpected crime spree, and murder, his town is coming apart at its well-worn seams. Unraveling the deadly strand of lies is up to Hayden and his new deputy, Megan Moreno, but they may have just stepped into a tangled web that will trap even them.

[Please don't read chapters out of order. The chapter numbers are listed below -- just in case you're not sure which chapter you're currently at. It's easy to switch to the appropriate chapter. Thanks. Doralynn]

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This was just a quick flight of imagination; possibly slated to be embedded into a future novel. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated.

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This poem is dedicated to all of my friends and relatives who no longer walk this earth. Any and all feedback of all levels is desired.

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Johnnites is a thriller/ horror dealing with the eternal struggle between good and evil. But what have a young writer, a mythical being and a serial killer have in common and can they stop the evil lord before he claims the earth for himself.

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The are some jobs most people wouldn't do even in the Depression

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What would happen if a modern monster met an ancient one? Any feedback is welcome.

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The President of the United States had a big decision to make that night... sitting in the Situation Room with two conflicting intelligence reports; It was vividly aparent he had to act immidiately... What he didn't realise was everything he thought he knew about the past was wrong, and the world was going to tear open at the seams and launch itself into a global war of old school good versus evil. This is the story of several people who come together and rise when all hope seems lost. Everything you've ever heard about death and legend... is true. I know the grammer in this may not be the best... If you do proof it, please be kind... I haven't exacly polished it the way it should be yet.

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My first novel attempt. This is about a woman transformed into a werewolf against her will. Tess has to find her way in a world where none of the rules are clear to her. She makes mistkes that risk both her and her younger sister's life. One of her mistakes takes the form of a rogue werewolf who she accidently entices into a mating dance. Plus, those that transformed her seek her for capture and study. She'll have to learn to embrace her animal or be destroyed by it. At this point, I just want to know if the story is compelling. Do the characters work? Do you want to read more?

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NOT YOUR USUAL DINNER AT EIGHT

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Billy Cooper had a secret never to be told.

In Britain and Ireland a widespread traditional rhyme records the myth that seeing magpies predicts the future, depending on how many are seen.

This short story is a modern day spin on an old version of that rhyme that I discovered for the first time.

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Her was army beaten and forced to plunge from the sheer cliffs to their deaths. A thousand years later, they have arisen in a new world determined to conquer and enslave it. They are led by their eternal leader, a woman draped in red - Monarch. The small, suburban town of Wellow Falls becomes the breeding ground for this alien evil. Preston Dregor, the town bully must see if he can redeem himself for his past sins, summon the courage to rescue the girl he has grown to love, and stop Monarch.

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I knew this boy when I was a child. My dad and I would go on a dove hunt every year at a friend's farm. The family described in this story lived on his farm as tenants. The boy in the story was a fetcher of killed doves for us. He told me his father and grandfather were the same. I felt compelled to write this because since he died I'm sure no one has thought a second about him.

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NEVER SWIM ALONE AT NIGHT

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A young woman is found dead inside a locked house. Is it a natural death or is there something sinister involved?

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Warning: this novel has at least four levels, is full of sex and violence, and is very fast paced. The Well of Women is at risk, as is the Tourney which Rhiannon wishes to use for pride and peace. But there are riots against offworlders, who the people blame for the rash of mother hate that is spreading through the land. And there is the mysterious Maelan--supposed guardian of the Well, whose malfunction may explain the evil that is afoot.

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Yes, this really happened; no I didn't exaggerate.

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The sounds of shattering glass, a brief scream, and a hollow ‘thunk’ looped continuously in his mind like the background music for a cheap porno.

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