Content: las vegas

Summary:

Two religious scientists discover a secret for curing drug addiction, and use a cloud to release it on Las Vegas. Big D, who runs the Vegas drug trade, is not amused by the drop in sales. The cloud takes on a life of its own, and the scientists and Big D must deal with the consequences as their lives come crashing together. I have a thick skin and enjoy a thorough critique. Let me know if you enjoyed the story, and I appreciate any nits and suggestions for improvement. Specifics: -Do the biblical references come through? Are they too subtle? Too obvious? -What about the comparisons and contrasts between addiction and religious fanatacism? -Given that my main character is evil (Big D), how does he come across. Entertaining? Scary? Not scary enough? Interesting trivia for your enjoyment: -There really is a Shrine of the Most Holy Redeemer in Vegas, and yes it does have the cloud picture. -Vegas gets about 5" of rainfall a year on average. -Microbes do live in the droplets of water in rainclouds, and some scientists believe their presence can effect when the clouds drop rain by altering the temperature at which the water in the clouds freezes. I finished edits on January 19, 2010. Thanks for your helpful reviews!

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Summary:

Here's my cloud entry. Let me know what you think. I'm wondering if writing it in present tense was a wise decision. I have a reason for doing it that plays into the story but it still might not work. Thanks for any feedback!

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