Content: relationships

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Here is another long short story that has to be published in two parts. I was very reluctant to publish this one on this site because it is a bit dated (like I am) and was written in the mid 1990s, so that is the time I date it for. It involves, but does not center on, land-line telephones that are no where near as sofisticated as the cellular and smart phone technology used these days. The main character of this story is a high school student who prepares for the prom to be held that night, but circumstances make thing a little complicated.

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I want to know about knitting, rips and tears. I'd also like to know if this is a unique plot idea. Have you ever seen this plot twist in fiction before. If so, where?

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This is, finally, a new story. One that was never workshopped in any college master's workshops or anywhere else. In fact, it is the first story I wrote after I started writing again following my retirement/disability, even though the basic premise, writing from the POV of the opposite sex, was an exercise suggested by a writing workshop. Given my glandular bias, I'm not really sure if it's in any way believable and will appreciate any and all feedback.

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This is an evolving work, the chapters are disjointed and I think it's pretty much a mess right now. I want readers to know this is more of an outline of what the finish product will be. When I get to shaping that outline into something intelligible is anyone's guess. Thanks for reading. Story summary: This is a story of a woman who found her idea of a perfect man in two abusive relationships. She goes from denial to realization to resolution in one week. It isn't pretty. Anything you can suggest to make it flow better and make sense I will appreciate. dags:)

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Finally, a chapter in the life of Alphonse (Al) Bonet that is more than a vignette, but a full-blown chapter. Following the death of their mother, Al and his younger brother, Guillaume (Willie) Bonet, travel to South Carolina to live with their father, a career Navy Chief Petty Officer.

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This is the part of the longer story that precedes the part I already posted as a short story (Muse by Kaleigh M). I know some people want to know what happens next and I'll get to that as soon as possible, but I'm really interested to know what people think of what I had planned in the story before the night in David's house where Fran sees the painting for the first time. This "prequel" comprises two parts - one featuring Fran alone and one featuring David. I'd be particularly interested to know if people think they're in the right order ie I keep thinking about switching them so we start out with David painting and then go back to Fran in the coffee shop. Any thoughts appreciated.

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A writer of romance novels has problems in bed. A 3K word story, complete in this posting.Input please on character, pace. Is it a good read? Many thanks.

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Both Sides of the Ocean is the story of an Irish-American family that lives and grows through the most tumultuous times in both nations histories. The Famine in Ireland and our American Civil War provide the canvas on which this story is developed. These two nation defining events overlapped each other and defined our respective nations as it did many families of the time. As a first time author who is starting on what I have planned as a three volume series I am looking for as much feedback as possible on everything from plot and character development to general story line.

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One decision, though made in love, has consequences that reverberate throughout multiple lives.

Feedback desired: The usual nits, plot holes, etc., but I'm most interested in knowing if the POV shifts work or not - especially for chapter one.

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When Emma’s mother sends her to Wisconsin to live with an aunt, all she can think about is how much her mother hates her. Ever since her parents’ divorce, she’s taken her father’s side, and now she feels like she’s been replaced by her mother’s new baby. But even when she realizes how much her old friends held her back and how much better her life is in Wisconsin, she can’t resolve the relationship with her. Then when she starts dating Jordan, she realizes how much worse a family could be. Instead of worrying about her petty problems, she starts to grow up and see that there can be more than one side to things. With some startling revelations about her parents’ divorce, and one terrible night at Jordan’s house, Emma’s life up north will be something she never imagined it could be.

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A tribute to my Dad.

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You very kind reviewers helped me improve on this story I'd long buried at the back of my computer. But now a competition has come up and the theme is 'journeys'. This story is the only thing I have that is anywhere near related so I have dusted it down and would love some further feedback. I've written right up to the 2,000 word limit so can't add anything but if there is anything that could be improved by changing it then please let me know! Thanking you in advance, Keen

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This is what I call a "seed" piece. It gives an overview, and I am wondering where to take it. All ideas welcome.

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This is the prologue for my novel Both Sides of the Ocean. I have recieved excellent and very helpful feedback on the first 15 chapters. From several of the comments received I have felt as if a prologue would be a good addition to the story and provide a foundation for the reader. The novel revolves around the sons of the men who are the characters in the prologue. I appreciate everyones help on this and I will start reposting soon the edits and rewrites of 1-15.

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Any feedback welcome!

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After her grandmother, Jenessa, flees her home in terror, Anna takes over as the caretaker of the property. Only 18 years old, and having just left an abusive home, Anna soon finds that the troubles she'd experienced up to now were nothing compared to what waits for her at The House on Miller Street. Will Anna survive her encounters with the malevolent being? Or will she, too, flee in abject terror?

NOTE: I am new to writing and appreciate any suggestions on nits/flow/characterization, etc.

I am taking all your suggestions very seriously, and will continue to update each chapter as I go along.

Thank you for all your help!

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A botched drug raid took her father’s life when she was 7. On her 13th birthday she witnessed her mother’s murder. Alone in the world, Jennifer Blade set out to even the score. At 33, enmeshed in a game that knows no rules, she is about to fulfill her quest when everything unravels. Fleeing for her life, she heads to the mountains of upstate New York, where she unexpectedly finds new reason to live and a threat to die. Steve Sanders, a 38-year-old psychologist with a predictable life, is on a fishing trip in the mountains. Little does he know that all vacations are not created equal. Catch and Release, a 76,000-word romance/suspense novel, is the story of two lives from vastly different backgrounds, drawn together by fate and a common love of the great outdoors. The crossing of Jennifer’s and Steve’s paths releases an explosion of love, passion, adventure, and ultimately a reason for a shared journey. Within 24 hours, they catch a few trout, have a passionate affair, shoot and kill a man, are involved in two gun battles, receive wounds, and end up in Miami, Florida. All this, and as Steve says, they still have six days of vacation left. Their relationship touches long-buried feelings in Jennifer, and shatters the mundane existence suffocating Steve.

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CODE 30, the police designation for crime scene with extreme or imminent danger, is a riveting mystery about the intricacies of a major crime investigation. The terror builds as the investigators follow the unknown path of an insane bomber who continues to move one step ahead of their search, forcing them to face the reality of living in a time of terrorism. Detective Shane Murphy, a 40 year old senior officer with Special Case Investigations, is thrown into the maze of confusion as he attempts to sort out the facts before the perpetrator strikes again. While his personal life crumbles around him, as his wife informs him of her decision to pursue a divorce, Murphy finds assistance with the arrival of Stacy Landou, a 38 year old Special Agent with Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. The case becomes more complicated when the local press begins to hound Murphy and suggests he is failing in his investigation. With Shanes's career, marriage, and reputation seemingly out of control, the bomber continues to move one-step ahead of the investigation. Signal 30 is published in eBook and paperback and I am looking for reviews.

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This piece is a homework assignment for a writing class I'm taking. I'd like your response to the piece and anything you want to say about it. What can I do to make the writing better? I welcome all feedback - style, word choice, nits, etc. Thanks.

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Jackson has finally decided the only way to escape the kind of love that hurts is to move away from the family that has always loved him. He kept both the hurt he experienced and his reason for leaving to himself, and although he isn't sure he is making the best decision, he was willing to take the risk. I welcome all feedback. Thank you

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"A Matter of Life and Death" is a tale of a tiny Midwestern town harboring a dastardly secret, festering to an ultimate showdown a quarter of a century after the story begins. Friendships are questioned, lifes are ruined, some lost, all with an isolated farmhouse in Fosterburg, Ill., as the muse for the saga.

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This is my second attempt at this. IF YOU READ IT, PLEASE COMMENT!!! I've tried to add more visuals about the character, and adding his thoughts should make the piece funnier. I also changed the ending with a few quick words. IS IT FUNNY????? That's the big question. If you read it at all, please let me know and fill in the rest of the review with x x x x x 'til you get to 50 words.

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Trust is that one element that glues all aspects of our lives together. It's not just the trust we place in others, but the trust we have in ourselves that completes us.

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Maggie and her niece, Teal, think they already have problems but when Maggie clears out her cellar for Teal to use as a bolt hole from her nagging mother, something far bigger and more terrible happens than either could ever have expected. I would like general feedback please and any will be appreciated! In UK English as usual. Best, Keen

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Anabeth Sinclaire is content to write her romance novels and enjoy her garden. Life is good except for one particular thorn in her side, rival romance novelist, Lliam Alexander. Can these two feuding novelist find the love they are both looking for or will they kill each other first? This is a very rough draft so feel free to tear it to shreds...lol!

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a summary of my evening....first real thing i have posted, be gentle, these are my feelings.

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A fictional story based loosly on actual events and people. Avery is a young woman with the world by the tail. She thinks she is really in love for the first time. She is beautiful and talented, yet scattered. But people and time have a way of changing her plans, even if she has no real plans at all... Please enjoy and review. This is my first real attempt at seroius writting so constructive critism is always welcome.

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Devastation and heartbreak in short form, that seems to come quickly to an end. Not sure if it has all the elements of a short story...first one posted, so be gentle.

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(REWORKED and REVISED--Loved this character but needed to go back and work out the plot so that I could move the story forward. Feel like the story is more plausible now). Twenty-something-year old Miki Jackson is a broken-hearted wannabe writer and a movie addict who believes that life and love should be romantic comedy. She's spent so much time looking for love that she neglected to find herself. When a screenwriting contest offers her the chance to find the career and man of her dreams, it's an opportunity she can't pass it up. Problem is, Miki attracts drama like bees to honey. Her quest to write the perfect romantic comedy by living the perfect romantic comedy leads her straight to jail--without passing go or collecting two-hundred dollars. She learns the hard way that life does not always imitate art. A cranky judge, who sentences her to community service, sends her spiraling into a depression and makes her realize her how empty and unaccomplished her life really is. With 500 hours of community service at a women's center, Miki remains determined to find the love of her life in time to write the perfect script and win the contest. But spending time serving others helps her discover a gift beyond anything she thought she could offer. After she fumbles and bumbles her way into Mr. Wrong after Mr. Wrong, she finally discovers--not one--but two seeming Mr. Rights. Both can offer her the life she's always hoped for. But when her wedding day arrives and the battle for her heart comes to a head, will she marry the man of her dreams--or the man who keeps it real?

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I'm on an abuse kick...not sure why, seems to be an interesting topic these days.

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Although this is not related to my friends, I know that it is someone's. Domestic Violence is a serious issue.

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This is a revision of my memoir, previously titled The Big C. It describes how my adolescent cancer wreaked havoc on my life, and how, at the age of thirty, I finally ssought the assistance of a caring therapist who helped me come to terms with its far-reaching mental health consequences. The story moves back and forth in time and place. Chapters that describe my experiences as a twelve year old are interspersed with chapters that showcase my sessions with my therapist when I'm a young adult. The story ends with me in my fifties, discovering the cause of my cancer and uncovering a secret about myself I could never have guessed. Any and all feedback is appreciated. I have not removed the earlier reviews because I want to keep all of the advice they provided. If you have read and/or reviewed this story before, I would appreciate hearing what you think of the changes. If my story is new to you, please ignore those early reviews and share your own impressions. One small caveat - Chapters one and two are more similar to their original form than are chapters three, four, and five.

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She's naked and cold so she needs green fire.

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An evening with an exotic dancer and private clients.

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A prose poem. No meter, rhyme scheme. Just capitalization, metaphor and image. Not saying whether this really happened. Just so you know.

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This is rhiannon on Rhiannon expanded; as suggested. It has an ending, is either more truthful or it is not. Remember when I tell you anything about this story that "I am Lying Now."

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I've just drafted this short story for a competition about Whitby Abbey in North Yorkshire, England. I would really value some general feedback and please note that the spelling is UK spelling so may seem a little weird in places. Many thanks...

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A Re-boot of the Rhiannon series. It rewrites the first Rhiannon story (published elsewhere)The Gorgon. It is deliberately inconsistent with other stories published or workshopped. Rhiannon is more complicated, Rosalyn has a different status, it is in 3rd person. It has themes of transformation,the loss and reclamation of important things (although they are not what the characters or readers think at first). A word on its setting: this is not set in medieval Europe. It takes place on a world that is about 11th century in terms of its social and technological development, but is 30 lightyears away from Earth, which is occupied by a world (Terra) with 21st century development. It takes place in our future, but in that world's (worlds') past. One culture is corrupted by Terran society, others are not. Oddities like the characters using slang from the US c. 2009 is thus explained. It is the tale of the fall and rise of Rhiannon, the ever so great descendent of the lengendary woman/goddess of the same name. All feedback is appreciated. Thank you.

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Gioia (Joy-ah) got Karl Baron’s attention. She’s hot, young and gorgeous, a perfect match for movie star royalty like Karl, but is he willing to wait in line with all the men in Gioia’s colorful life? With her first screenplay ready to roll, Gioia travels to her grandparent’s hometown in Sicily. All the problems she left there twelve years ago, come back to haunt her. And some new troubles follow her there.

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"I Know You By Heart" takes an extended family through the death of its matriarch and then through the formalities of the mourning period. This premise seems very mundane I suspect, but no doubt you know from experience, that no mourning period for anyone, or any family is like any other. All members of all families have unfinished business, hidden scandals, fearful secrets that create unwitting behavior. Each character provides harsh but horribly true information revealed for the first time. In “I Know You by Heart,� all of these elements float about uncontrolled and the family appears to run amok. As adults, we have learned that reasonably responsible people often respond to crisis in irrational ways. This particular family grieves, begrudges, punishes and begins to love again over time.

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Amongst the humans live people with talents; people like the Knowledgeables. A small percentage of the population are Special People, and only a small percentage of them ever become aware of their gifts. In a world where races such as Hunter-Seekers, Wingsmen, Curets, Tick-Tocks, and DeathWatchers mingle with the human population, only the uncooperative and stubborn Knowledgeables truly know how these gifts can be used to rule the world. A combination dark fantasy, thriller and present-day character/relationship-driven story.

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I decided to try flash fiction using only 50 words.

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It's ironic that one of my favorite bands Bush has the same name as one of my least favorite people. I managed to overcome my aversion to the name long enough to write this story which came to me while listening to a Bush song.

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For some unknown reason, women feel they must drop hints as to the gifts they would like to receive from men. The poem is a silly take on how this ritual does NOT work!

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The story begins with Cleo at work and works it way back to tell you how she got there. She goes to University, expecting the time of her life. Except it all goes horrribly wrong when her best friend becomes pregnant by Michael . Cleo is in love with Micheal, but going out with his best friend Sam , oh and then she gets together with Michael! The fun just doesn't stop in this hilerous, yet touching and sometimes dramatic story about a young woman's fight to be with the man she loves. That is when she finds out who he is!

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Rhiannon, prodigal daughter of the king of New Fairy, has suffered a terrible curse. Having humiliated a witch, she must suffer a unique shame--she must go naked, regardless of the weather or social situation. These are the stories of how she reclaims her dignity and fights the evil of men, and her own inner conflicts. Many of these are more light hearted than Rhiannon's Ordeal, and show Rhiannon in the heroic capacity that emerged in her post-curse life. Rhiannon's relationship with Rosalyn is more ambiguous--at least to Rhiannon; I don't think the reader was ever fooled. There are other differences, but I don't think that should matter to the reader. Rhiannon's still her dear, sweet, naked self.

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