Content: strongest start four

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The days are gone when the morning alarms were the gun shots. But the world War 2 Veteran opens his mind and goes back in time. They say all is fair in Love and War. But he learns that love is only fare thing the GOD has created in this world. Feedback: All kind of feedbacks are welcomed

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This is a story of a man with an addiction. It is not gambling or drugs that compels him, however, but a woman, whose siren call he can't resist. It is a tale of a man's obsession that threatens to destroy his reputation, his career, and jeopardizes his very survival. Finally, at the brink of disaster, he looks into the abyss and wonders if it is too late to, if not save himself, then at least obtain some measure of redemption.

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Alex Cutler accepts a job that alters his future and possibly the course of humankind. Welcome all feedback, and from what I've seen on this site, quality reviews is what I'll receive.

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Working on another round of major revisions. I'm primarily changing the backstory and using the raven myths of the Scandinavian and Norse cultures as a basis. I've changed the names of many of the characters and am wondering if the slightly less common names are distracting.

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Fifteen-year-old Cate is fuming at the sucky ‘we r ova’ text from her loser ex when everyone around her suddenly freezes. Breathing, but still like statues. As she picks her jaw up off the ground, three teenagers appear out of nowhere. The trio are suspicious of Cate but decide to ignore her. One hoists a bus over his head while another safeguards the future leader of the free world. Their words, not hers. The third one disarms a bomb planted under Cate’s bus. Then after decapitating someone from the crowd they vanish. To avoid appearing insane Cate says nothing... to anyone. The teens show up at her school. No one is frozen this time, but everyone at school acts like they've know these strangers for ever. It’s like they’ve always been there. What the hell? When she accidently brings a dead cheerleader back to life, Cate discovers this weirdness is because she’s going to be a Timesurfer. In fact, she’s like the chosen one for Team Evil, who use their magical powers to manipulate history. She’ll have to fight against the other Timesurfers who protect history. Like Austin. One killer smile from him and she was hooked. If she joins him she’ll be stripped of her ability to raise the dead and sent back to her vanilla life. Doing the right thing and getting the super hot guy should make her decision easy. However, creating zombies and being important bad-ass sounds well... awesome. When the ultimate bad-boy, Jonah, arrives he starts pressing all Cate’s buttons. Team Evil is looking way more tempting than Cate could ever have imagined. I've have reposted chpt 1 to 3 for the strongest start competition with all the edits so they tie onto the end. Tess xx

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When Presidential Candidate, Senator Jack Malloy, is lured to a secret tryst and murdered, the gossip inside the Washington Beltway is that the assassin is someone inside the Government, probably an agent of the CIA. Fifteen years ago Malloy gained notoriety by holding Congressional hearings on the CIA and passing legislation that reined in the agency’s freewheeling style. Because of his Committee’s revelations a number of promising careers were left in ruins. When Malloy was murdered he was planning a new round of hearings and investigations, hoping to ride the attending publicity into the White House. Grant Loewen, the recently retired Director of CIA Middle East Operations, is recruited by Bill Brewster, the Director of Clandestine operations, to contact his old CIA colleagues and see if he can get any sense of who might have killed the Senator. Brewster believes someone whose career was ruined fifteen years earlier may have used the currently planned hearings as a cover to kill Malloy. Grant Loewen’s sympathies lie with whoever killed the senator. Several of Grant’s CIA friends were murdered when Malloy’s committee released their names to the press. Reluctantly he agrees to look up the people he knew fifteen years ago. Brewster is known to be a master schemer and Grant is unsure what Brewster’s motivations for recruiting him are, but he fears not going along might place him under suspicion. And Grant has another reason. By coincidence, he was nearby the night Malloy was killed. If that comes to light, he wants to be able to manage it himself. Soon Grant finds himself entwined in a tangle of intrigue whose roots go back to the original hearings Rather than identifying Malloy’s killer, he becomes involved in a search for the real person behind the deaths of his former friends and colleagues.

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The alleged suicide of heroin king Jimmy Thomas left a lot of the locals in the back water town of Mount Bloom, Illinois asking questions. And the fall out from his death has his only daughter delving – albeit unwillingly – into the spirit world and running from some harsh allegations made by a current love interest. Is it possible to have spent a lifetime with somebody and still not know him at all? Nicola Thomas is searching for the answer to that question while trying to maintain a status quo façade; and her life only grows more complicated as she joins a testosterone-driven fire department, takes in the local Bad Child and falls in love. SOWING BLIND FAITH is an 85,000 word women’s fiction novel that will appeal to readers who appreciate a strong female protagonist and enjoy elements of magic and the paranormal.

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INTERSECTIONS is about Win and Juno Skalicky, an ordinary Midwestern couple whose marriage comes to a tragic end in a car accident that leaves Juno dead. But when the suicidal Win returns to the accident scene to kill himself to be with Juno, he’s astonished—and unbelieving—when he finds Juno there. Juno, who’s not fully convinced she’s dead, recruits their little dog Sam, to help her persuade Win that she’s real—as is her plan to reverse time so the two can resume their life together. I would like any and all honest feedback on anything that doesn't work for you! Thanks.

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This story takes place in the hallowed halls of academia where all kinds of chaos and confusion reign. Someone is messing with the coeds. Any and all comments are welcome.

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After his novel, The End of Days, hit the bookstores, John Tillis and his girlfriend come under attack from unknown sources and assailants.

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Fifteen Seconds of Silence is set in present-day Virginia Beach, Virginia, and is about young man, Sebastian Stronge, who becomes the figurehead for a criminal enterprise that engages in a plethora of illegal activities from murder to money laundering, and all that's in between. Roman Littlejohn is Sebastian's sidekick and prodigy. With the belief that Sebastian has betrayed him, Roman decides to form an alliance with a rival drug lord from Washington D.C. in order to alleviate his mentor and assume command of his empire. I would like to receive any form of constructive feedback on my chapters.

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When the body of Hans von Schreiber, the infamous writer, is found mutilated in an alley behind the Metronome bar, all the haggard denizens of the Tumbleweeds district have no choice but to team up with eccentric detective Abram Deverguenzas to try and catch the assassin and save their bohemian underworld.

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Brooklyn 1978: People Gioia (Joy-ah) knew didn’t travel, so she is shocked to hear they were going to Sicily. They arrive at their rich aunt and uncle’s house with high expectations, only to find it’s nothing like they imagined. It was worse. They are poor and living in a crumbling villa. Her mother, who is easily impressed with money, learns the couple gave all their assets away. But to who? And what’s left for her? As Gioia begins to fall in love with her gorgeous cousin, she finds herself struggling with moral concerns. It's good to be back, thanks for the push Wiggy dear!!!! Promise to return the favor for all reviews, I was rushing to get this in on time. Thank you reading about Gioia XOXOX

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This is just the first few chapters of something I've been working on. I have the plot outline and whatnot for the whole story, just wanting some feeback on the quality.

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The war over Wyoming land rights did not begin with the lynching of Jim Averell and “Cattle� Kate Watson in 1889, nor did it end with the Butch and Sundance-style execution of Nate Champion outside his KC Ranch cabin in 1892. Those whose generations have lived in the Cowboy State know that land counts for much and family can be a secondary thing. When Sheriff John Pruett’s wife of 44 years is murdered by her own brother in the whirlwind of a family feud over precious mineral rights in the gas boom of the 2000’s, he will face not only a test of professional mettle, but also a formidable reconciliation with both his faith and his own flesh and blood—Pruett will ultimately battle his child, his town, his ghosts, and his God. This is a tale of twisted, hardscrabble greed set against the majesty of one of the last, true American paradises.

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My life and times growing up in Manhattan and the South Bronx. I want to submit the first three chapters to "The Strongest Start" contest. Any type of feedback is welcomed.

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Anabeth Sinclaire is content to write her romance novels and enjoy her garden. Life is good except for one particular thorn in her side, rival romance novelist, Lliam Alexander. Can these two feuding novelist find the love they are both looking for or will they kill each other first? This is a very rough draft so feel free to tear it to shreds...lol!

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"We Own The President" (set a few years in future; 116,000 words) Why it’s unique: father-daughter buddy story meets 007-type thriller... Harry Evans works for secret government agencies, sees himself as the last line of defense against the evil people in the world. He’s good at it. Kate Evans, studying for an MBA at Wharton, is contemptuous of her father and has as little to do with him as possible. After all, he’s nothing but a killer... Readers get a big swirling thriller--mad-genius twins try to "own the President"--plus entertaining inter-generational conflict. Harry Evans, daughter Kate, and her friend Carmen are increasingly in the center of the vortex, not sure what is real or where their loyalties should be. The country is coming apart. President Simpson declares war on Mexico, and hints at worst. Kate and Harry, alone against the world, start to function as partners -- but don’t try to tell Kate that. The question is, can these two alphas stop squabbling long enough to save the country from a conspiracy to seize control of the president and to accomplish this in a way that conceals what has happened. Any feedback is welcome.

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Alicia Gladstone tried to bury her past and the truths that haunt her. But when her brother is viciously attacked and it becomes clear she is next, she must face her greatest fears head on. Brad Morgan has secrets of his own. Hired to protect Alicia Gladstone he must face his own demons, with the help of his team, before it's too late. He is about to discover that there are ties that bind them all.

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Re-edited. - - - The source of my ramblings is a collection of letters written to family and friends in the UK after moving to Africa in 1980. - - - The letters, which I kept copies of, described our new way of life - a way of life quite inconceivable, even unbelievable, to the average British citizen in those days as satellite television did not then exist, and documentaries about distant lands were few a far between. - - - The fact that these exploits were experienced by an extremely naïve and quite mad English woman puts a different slant on what would normally be a simple biography.

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Nestled in the Vermont countryside, the Duncan family is lulled by the comforts of rural anonymity. Jillian Duncan, a widowed mom, is doing her best to raise her teenage sons. Unfortunately, her life drastically changes when her dog comes to their door and drops a finger on the doormat. The finger belongs to a neighbor, assumed a runaway months ago, when the girl disappeared during a blizzard. Before Jillian contacts police she uncovers a makeshift hangout in her basement dubbed by local teenagers as The Cheech Room. It smells of candles and puberty but reeks of a deadly secret that can't be kept. Jillian must decide whether reporting the girl's body, months after the case was closed, will destroy the only people she truly loves. Challenged by how far she'd go to protect her sons, Jillian attempts to put to rest a troubling secret from their distant past, while staying one step ahead of a detective bent on proving her boys involvement in the girl's disappearance. Swiftly, characters' layers peel away like onion skin and only in the end is the stinging core of truth revealed. Will it be too late to prevent another tragedy? Any constructive feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance for your support.

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Kirby Truman is based on some real world friends that I work with. They provide services that sometimes require stepping into the gray areas between right and wrong. Doing the right thing isn't always virtuous or easy.

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Her Father stole her past, her future has just been terminated – Kidnapped without ransom she swore vengeance to all those involved, especially the very dangerous man hired to murder her - A new age romance with a sting in the tail!

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A crew members true account of being raped on a major crusie ship. The horror of the crime is rapidly eclipsed by the horror of how rape victims are really treated on board a vessel. This is the story of a life long dream that turns into a life long struggle for survival.

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I have been writing this novel for many years and I am at the point where I have done all that I could and would appreciate all thoughts and critcisms.

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Tragedy struck Pam Jarvis when the sixteen year old girl was raped by her brutal father. In a drunken rage the billionaire industrialist had strangled her mother to death before turning on his daughter. Fleeing the rape and murder her father moved to the east coast leaving her the house, money, servants and pregnant. For the next sixteen years the young girl lived a life of seclusion in their Honolulu mansion raising her mentally challenged daughter and fighting the demons of her past. When the father is killed in an attempt to assassinate the President of the United States Pam inherits his fortune and his twenty one high tech businesses. Now 32 years old, the beautiful young woman and her daughter are staying in a Virginia resort while attorneys sort out her business interests. By chance Pam meets Matt Laveau the son of flamboyant TV Evangelist Luther Laveau. There is instant chemistry and within a few short months the couple is married at the Laveau Texas ranch. The joy of her new life and that of her daughter and husband is soon threatened. Sinister officials running one of Jarvis's businesses involved in black government projects finds the removal of Pam from the business to be in their best interest. Using New Orleans mob boss Sonny Balboa these men attempt to have Pam and her family murdered. Working behind the scenes and unknown to Pam or Matt is a shadowy figure known as The Swimmer. He is a paid assassin and the only person who can prevent the murders. The action races from the Great River Resort on Virginia's Northern Neck to the South Texas Planes and across the Pacific to Honolulu and Oahu. A killer tries to stop the murder of this young girl, her husband and her remarkable daughter, while he avenges the murder of a man with whom he shared the secret of his own life.

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Ivan Campbell, Dean Weston and several others become gifted with enhanced intelligence when they are exposed to energy based life forms on a distant planet. Sadly, the exposure kills the peaceful life forms. When the incredible cognitive effects wear off, Ivan is determined to recapture them and will stop at nothing to achieve his goal, including murder. SPECTRA, a science fiction thriller, relays the story of Dean’s struggle to stop Ivan from exploiting and destroying the only intelligent life known to exist on another world. I'm looking for any feedback both positive and negative. If you review my work, I will review yours.

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Dan awakes in a strange house tired to a chair not knowing the reason why or who is holding him hostage, evently faced with death and a man with a fully loaded six shooter Dan despertly tries to figue out how to stay alive and get out of the closest place to hell that he has ever been in. The only thing stopping him from giving up is his family for whom he has no idea if they are still alive or held somewhere else. Enter the world of fear and survial where the devil is closer then you think and the way out is through the fire and pain and what lies after the sixth bullet.

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In 1807, Napoleon was marching through Poland where the Poles, long oppressed by Austria, Prussia, and Russia, hailed him as a liberator. Determined to meet the great man, a beautful, young Polish countess risks everything for an encounter that became one of history's most enduring love stories. Second only to Josephine, Maria Walewska stands out in history as Napoleon's greatest love. Their romance changed the course of an empire, the fate of kings, and the face of a continent. This is the story of the sweet, captivating woman whom Napoleon dubbed "my Polish wife." constructive feedback desired; let me know if the story consistantly holds your interest and makes you want to know what happens next. Though I enjoy this genre, this is my first attempt to write it.

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Dr. Nathan Rysner is a member of the GenRose Bio-engineering team in Chicago. Nathan is exposed to genetically altered material in an accident in the lab and gains the ability to change his own genetic make up at will. A military black ops group is after him and the genetic protocol that can make a warrior impervious in battle. Nathan is on the run for his life. His adventures introduce him to the love of his life, Sherry Turner. Nathan inadvertently releases a healing gene that causes world wide controversy and instantly causes the medical field to become obsolete. The twists at the end will have you returning to the beginning searching for clues. I'm looking for any and all feedback. I only ask that you read from the beginning if you are reviewing for story line. Nits are welcome. I'm particularly interested in your thoughts on dialogue and believability of scenes.

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Jake Wilson lives a life very much to himself. He seems content enough. He is close with his sister, Michelle. And his best-friend Alex is a pickup artist that tries to bring the best (or worst) out of Jake. And he has a decent enough job, which he only hates most of the time. Everything seems to be fine until a series of events leads Jake to question who he is. He meets the girl of his dreams, Chelsea. He receives a concussion. His ex-girlfriend, Rebekah, comes back into his life. His estranged father dies. And Jake's life spins out of control. But after receiving the concussion, Jake begins to see the masks he wears, and he begins to feel a burning in his stomach. It is at this moment that Jake begins the strenuous journey of self-discovery.

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As far as they can tell, Jazz Harding and Deke Michaels are the only two people left in the world. What they've inherited is acid rain, red lightning storms, and a bank of black cloud that never lets the sun peek through. But there's something to be said for getting the world broken beyond repair. There's not much they can do to screw it up, but there is a lot they can do. Or die trying. They've got each other, a good car, and all the time in the world to figure out their next move, until Deke stops breathing on the floor of that motel room in East Texas. Saving the world means something else entirely when it revolves around just one person. And, by God, they're going to save this one. I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. I've had this story written for a couple of years now but didn't have the beginning. This is the beginning. I'll be the first to say the science in loose at best and stays that way because neither of the main characters are scientists, and the whole thing's a metaphor, anyway. Any and all suggestions helpful. Also, you'll notice that I've tagged this romance, and there are only two characters. If you're surprised about the hookup that happens later in the story, it's not because you haven't been warned.

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In Wake of a Following is a fictionalized account of the controversial, unconfirmed Virgin Mary apparitions in Necedah, Wisconsin. Written from both of my grandparent’s points of view, this historical drama takes the reader through a separation from faith, the Red Scare, bizarre conversations with heavenly saints, and the creation of a spiritual following that still exists today. In 1959, my grandfather published two controversial books about his experiences as a leading member of the shrine. His writings and my grandmother’s personal journal helped shape this book. I welcome your feedback. Thanks,

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The newest versions of the first three chapters of It's All Mercenary for the Strongest Start Contest. Told in first person, Mercenary tells the story of a group of adventurers who get a bit more than they bargained for when they go after a dragon terrorizing the city of Kiljer Port. It also pokes fun at some of the traditional fantasy roles, filling them with odd personalities. For those who have read the original, please note these revised chapters are quite different.

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The year is 2114 and the world has changed significantly in the last one hundred years. The population has soared to almost 12 billion, many plants and animals have become extinct, governments have changed, country borders have been redefined, water management and food production is a major issue, energy sources have been redefined, religions have been modified and the legal structures to guide society have undergone major changes to be able to keep everything functioning. One thing has not changed – it is the civic responsibility of every citizen to serve on jury duty. This concept of responsibility is so engrained in the citizenry, that some of them actually look forward to the opportunity. A jury summons is issued only every five years, starting at age 25 until age 75 when most people retire. There are criminal trials and civil trials, but the procedure that most citizens are involved in are the worthiness trials. Because of the huge population and all the other factors that affect current life, it is important that the most talented individuals advance in their chosen careers and contribute to society. The worthiness trial is the means for fast advancement if one is found worthy.

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This a true long distance romance story between an Indonesian woman and an American man. You will find Indonesian coversations in the first chapter and then for the next chapters, most of the conversations will be in English. I wrote them in a purpose; it is to make the story more natural as the story was from. If I write it in Indonesia, I'll explain them in narration. The most important thing you should know, English is my second language, so please, give any attention for mistaken tenses or gramaticals I might write. Any feedbacks would be accepted and appreciated. Thank you for reading and reviewing my work.

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Elijah, is on a trip to Jullundur, India where he has inherited a state of the art manufacturing factory. Going to a strategic location under legitimate circumstances, he has been recruited by the CIA for a secret mission. He meets Sonia Chatterjee, a Rajput Princess, but now a commoner who works for his company. Elijah is kidnapped by a Fundamentalist Muslim group and taken to Afghanistan. In the brief interlude, Sonia has taken a liking to him and - disguised as a young man - follows Elijah to an Afghan village where he has been put to work. Sonia helps him escape and they are joined by Ishmael - an Afghan youth who has befriended him. They try desperately to get back to the safety within the borders of India but keep running into danger lurking at every bend in the road. Elijah is deeply disturbed by the plight of Afghan women he sees on the streets of Kabul. He decides to intervene in the stoning of a woman even though the danger is enormous. Aiyasha - the girl they save is just seventeen - becomes a new recruit to their group. The scope of his CIA involvement has grown and Elijah volunteers his group's assistance to rescue foreign diplomats being held by the Taliban in a city located not far from the route they're taking. They stumble into a nest of Afghan bandits who hold them for ransom. They bide their time and make an attempt to escape. Following right behind on their perilous path is their nemeses Abdul Rehman. He is a fanatic who has never lost a captive.

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Did I set up Patty's conflict strongly enough? Do you root for her? Do you find the charcaters interesting enough to want to follow them? I'll gratefully take whatever feedback you offer.

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Called to duty in Operation Desert Shield/Storm, Sand is the memoir of Marine Scout Chad Parson. Leaving no scar unscratched, Chad delves deeply into his experiences in battle during the Gulf War and beyond, the camaraderie’s he found in one of that war’s most heroic and yet unsung platoons, and how nineteen years later he still hasn’t really come home.

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A micro-biologist claims to have discovered the God gene not long ago: the gene that enables us to believe in and commune with God. It's a trancendiary gene. This novel imagines a dystopic future in which Believers are rounded up and have their genes forcibly altered. The heroine, Carlin Darrow, fights against the government and the police for the right to practice her faith.

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A Brooklyn teacher named Charlie Maiks retells at gunpoint the story behind his current predicament while in a separate but related story line a character's life in Argentina during the Dirty War develops into one of the root causes of the Charlie's nightmare.

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Set between the 1930’s and the 1970’s against four decades of segregation in the nation’s capital, "Clarabell Could Talk" intertwines the lives of Sammy Behrens, a brokenhearted baseball hero who never gets beyond his lost shot at the majors, and his daughter Lainey, who must pay the price for her father’s remorse over a ruined career.

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A fictional story based loosly on actual events and people. Avery is a young woman with the world by the tail. She thinks she is really in love for the first time. She is beautiful and talented, yet scattered. But people and time have a way of changing her plans, even if she has no real plans at all... Please enjoy and review. This is my first real attempt at seroius writting so constructive critism is always welcome.

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Rahoul Sharma is Hindu and his fiance Sohrabi is Muslim. They are on opposite sides of an equation in a land bound by tradition. On a quest to improve life in his native Rajasthan, Rahoul and Sohrabi work to bring solar power on a large scale as an economic advantage to the people. They are opposed by Deshpande - a wealthy land owner whose Corporation is pushing for a nuclear Power Plant in the area. Whoever gains Government approval wins the stakes worth billions in revenue. With partition in 1947, the Indus River that helped farm these lands now lies in Pakistan. On the Gulf of Kutch, two handred miles away, Rahoul uses the new hydrate process to build a desalinator to bring water to the Thar. A freak storm damages the platform. Fishermen see it as a threat to their livlihood and launch a protest and environmentalists take it a step further. Through it all, Sohrabi stands by his side even when her parents oppose their marriage. Centuries old cultural differences come to a stanstill as the community holds its collective breath. Despite the obstacles he faces and the political realities to bring a massive project online, nature proves to be a formidable adversary. But nothing has prepared him for the greater horror when a crisis strikes his family.

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Tiamat Ashtad, or Tash as she is called, is thrown into the middle of a high profile kidnapping when the suspect targets her. She's got to reach inside and learn who she really is to rescue the children and save herself. I'm looking for feedback on everything. Don't worry about being gentle I've got thick skin. I do however ask that you respect myself and my characters. I'm here to learn and grow. :)

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This book has gone to the publishers and is posted again as an entry in the current contest. Comments welcome. This will soon be available in print on Amazon, and also available in kindle. Follow along with young Cable Hornman as he ventures forth into the mystical Lands of Methanasia. He leaves the home of his foster parents in the northern provinces of the Dane-Klyve and travels south to the old city of Smeln, the once magnificent capital of the declining Western Empire. In hopes of perfecting his swordsmanship and fighting skills, Cable joins up with the Fighting Ninth of the city guards. Little does he know that another traveler has also entered the city for evil purposes.

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The 'Tales of the Bard' continues in book two as Cable Hornman sets out in the company of a wizard to journey to Vinberg. There he hopes to find Ravenlock, master of the High Druid Council and also attend the wedding of a friend.

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It's 1870 and Sarah McClanahan, along with her husband Effird and daughter Cassie, are headed to California to find their nugget of gold. Tragedy strikes along the way, and Sarah's life is not at all the way she planned it.

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PLACE: Chicago, Illinois / TIME: The Near Future--Cancer gone Pandemic is ravaging the world and only two psychic teenagers, the mysterious Kindred Clan, a brooding Immortal, and an Angelic being, can defeat the Pandemic, which it appears, is far more than a mere disease . . .

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This novel involves three lives caught up in the miserable web of slavery. Desperation and vengeance drive the three main characters: Assad, a moor and military man is betrayed by an empire that is being torn apart; Alain Gravois, the son of a fisherman, living in Nantes, France, struggles to become his own man; and Osawe, a warrior, living in a small village situated between two warring kingdoms along the 'slave coast' of Africa. France, the 'slave coast' of Africa, Morocco and Haiti are the backdrop to their story which spans twenty-three years, 1727 to 1750. All criticism is welcome, and thanks to all who have helped.

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Number 2 in the Eagle Plume Detective series (the first is Homo Necans). To help you decide if you want to read this: this is a police crime story, not a mystery and I write in multiple POVs, though I do try to make it obvious when I switch characters. It does involve a shapeshifter quasi-psychic detective, so there's an element of the paranormal. The main focus, however, is solving the crime. Hope you choose to read on!

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Not looking for any specifics

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I have hard skin. I love criticism, lay in on me. Always looking for grammatical issues, cuts suggested to move the story along, POV errors, and tense issues. Thank you...

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Jacob Townsend, living in present day Dallas, Texas, inherits a a gold mine in the Sierra Nevadas, from his ancestors, Tom Watson and Eliza Townsend who lived in the 1850s. In the box containing the hundred and fifty year old legal documents is a map to the location of the mine and a diary written by Eliza . The innovations she designed and had built would amaze engineers of today. Scheming relatives would like to take a peek at that map, and when Jacob takes a business trip to Caracas, Venezuela with his friend, Jessica Lopez, a copy of the map is stolen from their hotel room and a flight in a small plane to a local gold mine is sabotaged, forcing the pilot to land on a river in the jungles of Venezuela. The pilot and the two of them trek through the forest and raft down the river trying to get back to civilization. They encounter a drug gang, who hold them hostage. What Jacob does to escape will stay as a nightmare with him as long as he lives. Back in the US, more relatives make attempts to steal the map. An attack on Jacob leads him to a Drug Lord, Manos Santos in Brazil who has connections in the US. Jacob seeks help from the CIA who turn him down, but not before meeting an agent named Marilyn who falls for him. Now he has two women on his hands. He goes to Rio de Janeiro at the height of the Mardi Gras Festival to track down Santos and confront him. At the shoot-out in Santos mansion, Jacob is wounded. Marilyn makes a surprising appearance and helps him escape. The diary leads Jessica to believe that Eliza and Tom may have perished in the mine. Jacob and Jessica trace their way to the mine. Using modern safety suits they penetrate the interior of the mine to find a few surprises. Another chapter in the diary leads them to an amazing find.

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A near-future science fiction tale, set in a dystopian Los Angeles. My first attempt at a novel, and I welcome all advice and critiques.

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(So I've I've started tackling this story again (thanks Nathan!). I've made a few changes and decided, what the hell, I'll toss this in the contest again just for the heck of it.) "Little Evil" is the story of Jake. He hasn't had an easy, or normal life. Moving town to town, Jake stopped trying to make friends because he couldn't keep friends. They were always left behind, in the last town. Each new town brought new schools. And new enemies. Sometimes Jake is compelled to take a stand against the little evil that lives in our schools and our neighborhoods. Somebody had to do it and, though Jake would rather not, he has a certain talent for finding little evils, and, often reluctantly, has to take them on. "Little Evil" spans regions: the plains of Oklahoma to the suburbs of Los Angeles to the mountains of Washington. It spans eras: the late fifties through the early seventies.

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You would do anything to stop the fire, if it was you who was on fire.

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Not looking for any specifics.

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The first three chapters have been revised and rearranged for the strongest start competition. The novel is posted in its entirety so you may read at your leisure (DISABLED CHAPTERS WILL BE ENABLED FOR ANY NEW REVIEWERS GOING BEYOND CHAPTER 3). Old reviews will not always match up with the chapter that it is attached to. This is in essence a memoir of my life in an orphanage, but I use composite characters and am not sure it qualifies as "memoir" for the contest. I will let the judges decide that. I hope this final go through will make it ready to publish, so any comments whatsoever will be appreciated. Especially interested in the new flow pattern. Opinions? Thanks for your help and advice.

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Summary:

This novel-length memoir details the growth and emotional shifts that occur when a thirtysomething woman decides to turn her husband's sexual fantasy into reality. While there will certainly be some vivid descriptions of sex as the story progresses, it is intended for a mainstream audience. The more detailed the critique, the better. I can take it!

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Summary:

To whom does The People's Champion belong? The people or himself? That's the question foundling(orphan) Jakund Frey'lnd, a gifted young swordsman and war hero dubbed "Kid Blade," struggles with as he battles the ferocious Gothari and learns that his fame as warrior makes him a target for those looking to make a name for themself as well as an unwilling player in the games of the powerful. This is a Young Adult Fantasy, filled with humor and action, designed to appeal to all ages.

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Summary:

How people are.

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