Content: strongest start sffa five

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This is the start of a novel I've had in my head for awhile, I am looking for feedback!!Especially when it comes to the title and of course story line, I have placed this as a Restricted rated novel but I'm not sure if it should be...I know at the beginning its not much but the story does get much more adult content wise, please let me know if I should change the rating as we go along!! Thanks in advance to everyone!!

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The free world industrial revolution is endangered by the earth’s fast consumption of rare earth elements. Professor Avner Amram’s scientists develop a sophisticated spectroscopic instrument that can remotely detect the presence of critical rare earth elements in outer space. CIA, KGB and Mossad agents are entangled in spying and counter intelligence while searching for stolen plans and technology secrets related to space missions. Drawings and software are stolen from the Jet Propulsion Laboratories, copied and sent to the Kremlin. A mole recruited by a foreign country is arrested. Avner and his associates are drawn into the mayhem. They encounter industrial espionage and intrigues as they prepare for unmanned space probes. Secrets leaked to Russia result in a race of unmanned probes to Mars and asteroids. Avner’s team reaches a resolution with unexpected conclusions.

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Teddy Schoendienst is a brilliant but lonely and troubled teenager. One night, while he is fantasizing about his dream girl, a scantily clad, sexy girl comes out of his closet! Her name is Elena and she promises to fulfill all his desires, if he keeps her existence secret from his family: his beloved sister, Ellen, and his father. He agrees, wanting to keep her to himself, even though her body is ice cold and she seems to have no heartbeat. But then he finds out that Elena has been appearing in Ellen's dreams too, and scaring her almost to death. He wonders what kind of double game she is playing. Shortly thereafter, Ellen's body is found by the river running in back of their house. An amateur detective, Teddy vows to find the identity of the killer and of his strange lover. He does so, but the truth is so horrible that it threatens to destroy his sanity and his sould

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A misfit girl and her friends must ward off flesh-eating zombies after a meat-borne virus invades her father's divy burger joint.

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Do you believe in fairy tales? Ana McShay hasn't since she was a child. That is until she finds herself trapped in a realm of fairy tale reality and must find a way back home to Ireland and her sick child.

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This is a rewrite of my previous work following Tommy Travers, a 14 yr old boy with the ability to enter the World of Books. I have switched this to first person in an effort to better flesh out Tommy and add more life to the story. I am looking for constructive help with POV issues, storyline and just a general opinion of the concept. I try to reciprocate review for review.

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Buddy Cullen, a rising young professor of journalism in Cleveland, Ohio in 1995, uncovers a bizarre secret. A demon curses the Cleveland Indians – and Buddy’s recently deceased grandfather captured the wicked spirit in several photos. Buddy enlists Erika, one of his students, to help root out the truth. They discover an entity far more sinister and powerful than they had imagined.

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(Ao, this is a Screen-Story written in the language of the 2050's. Everything is TV and Fanboy heavy, so read it as if your are watching it on channel 23.) It's a hardboiled blood and techno thriller set 45 minutes into a future manipulated by deception, desperation, and despair. 3 differnt character arcs, each with a different writting style and color, merge into a single thread. THE COP: Officer Vickey Worthey works 4 the nearly unstoppable Gov-Corp monstrosity called the Truth Maintenance System. The last Work Order went bad, real bad. It got her killed, a cloned heart, and an E-ticket ride to the Twilight Zone. THE CRIMINAL: Juan Sanchez, 4 days out of prison and with debts to pay, immediately joins a mercenary gig directed by a mildly insane Colonel McLove. Juan wants 2 change, but he is El Alacranro, a scorpion hunter, a killer of killers, and can never change. THE CASUALTY: Switch is the Biological flesh around “the Wire,” a piece of Outlaw Technology fetal graphed to brainstem. The memory is fuzzy, but the bruises testify 2 violence as she hits reality hard, prison cell top bunk as a Blank, no file, no record, and no past, except a conviction of Murder.

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This is different for me, but I've always wanted to write something like this. Skylar Crandon is like any rebellious teenage boy, enjoying his youth. Then on his seventeenth birthday, everything in his world changes. His body has transformed, the world around him appears different, and no one is there to answer any questions. Until Eva. She knows what he is, and she offers answers if only he follows her to a secret underground group filled with others who are just like him. A vastly new world is presented to him, along with the knowledge that he could never go back to his normal life again. But he does have a choice. He can stay with people like him, and become what he was always meant to be, or he can live on the run in the world he doesn’t want to give up. He knows he’s never going to stay in a world he was so forcefully pushed into, but the more time he spends learning about them, and spending time with Eva, the more he realizes that his decision is going to impact more than just his life. I changed the rating to R because of graphic violence and the language that Skylar and Aaron use.

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In 2157 sentient non humans fight for emancipation.

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A both thrilling and chilling view of the world after "infection" through the eyes of everyday people. Would love any feedback at all, I hope you enjoy it.

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When young Sarah Whitlock started her new life after college she soon met the man of her dreams. After a suspected confession by Carl they continued dating and soon married. The morning after their first night together a terrifying event happened that changed her life forever. She spent many years of her life searching for her one true love only to find him and other lost souls of her past in a bizarre coincidence. Soon danger will come to them all and Sarah must wonder if she should have never begun her search. It is impossible to comprehend my storyline by the first three chapters. It is much more intriguing as it continues and some readers will cheer as familiar characters begin to emerge. I need help with commas - where to put them and where I shouldn't, redundancy, content.

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The lives of two boys intersect in the year 2169 where the Interplanetary Championship in the game of OrbWars could mean disappointing ruin for one and galactic glory for the other.

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In 2169 the game of OrbWars is the galaxy’s favorite pass time. Professional league and school team play fill the airwaves. OrbWars came about as a result of an actual war, fought over decades on various planets and moons in our galaxy. The fight was for control of a resource in the form of orbs more precious than gold.

Toby is one of two protagonists. He’s a twelve-year-old boy raised in a loving family with every advantage. However, he’s feeling pressure from his coach and father to lead his school to victory in the Interplanetary Championship. Although he’s privileged and attends the prestigious Lodestar Academy on Mars, he struggles to make friends and has teammates who are constantly hounding him about his playing ability.

Chance, also a twelve-year-old boy, is the second protagonist, an orphan from the moon Titan. He has a guardian named Don Caliban and is living on Uranus. Chance attends the lousy Wahoo International Star School. Lacking a family and many close friends, he desires to be the best pathfinder he can.

Both boys earn the position of pathfinder on their OrbWars team and end up facing off against each other in the Interplanetary Championship. Winning for Toby means making friends at school, as well helping his father and coach relive their glory days. For Chance, winning would mean validation as an athlete plus a scholarship to Lodestar Academy. Days before the Interplanetary Championship, Chances guardian turns his world upside down by revealing he is not an orphan at all.

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The free city of Anderholm prospered at the crossroads of kingdoms, its gates open and its citizens engrossed in wickedness and scandal. Two scholars have come to change its fate. One seeks an ancient treasure, while the other longs to bring back the Age of Magic. Between them stands Shadyia, a pawn in their game who becomes the key to their ambitions. For men, she is an insatiable seductress. For women, an envied rival. For one, a loyal friend. Passionate and cunning, she is Shadyia, a Sister of the Silver Rose. A whore with pride.

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They tried to kill me. I was only protecting my wife's good name. I was insanely mad with jealousy. Now I can only smell and hear the world around me. I was a good man before this happened... why me? Why did this have to happen to me? Think you have bad neighbors? Wait until you meet Robert Rubio's. No zombies, no vampires, no supernatural events... only a very wicked human monster who will go to the extremes to achieve resolution for his perverted idea of love.  ÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

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Entry for Strongest Start. This is an expansion of an earlier short story. Looking for any suggestions to improve characterization, flow, plot, description, etc. SciFi is not my main genre for writing so fire at will, lol. Thanks. PS: For any who have read any of the story previously, I have changed the character name of "Master Kremlin" to "Klyugin" and given him a first name also, "Kirill". Hope it's not too confusing.

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Young adult urban fantasy. There's something unusual about Christian, the new guy at school. As Jordan gets to know him better, and learns the reason he moved to her small town in the first place, she discovers that he is from the mysterious Celtic shadowland and that the magic of his world has brought the two of them together for a reason. Thanks to everyone who took time to read this. Your comments have been invaluable. As always I appreciate all feedback.

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Feedback please! I respect the writers here, and I have thick skin. Every comment means so much to me! Thanks Justin

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PROLOGUE The limit of the universe may be compared to the confines of imagination, and reality is as changeable as an Indian summer. Think of the universe as an infinite medium for existence. Imagine our world as just one point in all of that vastness. A point of reference, a traveller may use for navigation on a journey of imponderable dimensions, bounded only by the limits of rational thought. Imagene is another lonely landmark: a place where magic is as remarkable as a card trick. A world not so unlike our own, boasting: thick forests; beautiful countryside; babbling brooks that offer the weary traveller cold, sweet refreshment. A place where animals of varied description and disposition are resplendent in their primal surroundings. Like so many worlds Imagene is burdened with a host of humanoid beings, cursed to fight amongst themselves, so often because of their differences, sometimes because of the very similarities between them. Imagene is a place of magic: having no technology and its destructive accompaniment. The power there is magic: to be drawn from the very ground itself. This power is greater for some and its demands upon the body and soul even greater. And when a great magic-user travels from one world to another; the outcome meant beasts of nightmare, creatures of myth and folklore would walk upon the virgin paths of an innocent world.

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